Raven's Rants

a little help for my musician friends...

2011-09-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have recently taken up designing CD Packages for my fellow Musicians and computer/console video game designers out there. I will post a few examples of my work here so you can see what I am talking about. I am displaying the actual CD design here, but I am able to produce designed printable templates (that you can take to a printing company and have made for you) for the entire CD package, from inserts to CD case sleeves, and jackets. so that said...Take a look see, and if you like what ya see...just follow the instructions on the Image. Pretty simple. oh yea...and one more thing...My prices are negotiable and able to work with nearly any budget (except free of course. lol) but I do work on a bit of a sliding fee scale, based on the detail of the work, how many layers in the template, and hour(s) it will take to produce, but I work fast and efficiently, and for low cost. So...if you're not much of an artist, or if you just don't have the time to design it yourself, and don't mind paying a few bucks to have ME design it for you, then by all means, shoot me an e-

mail, and we can talk business. :) (If you would like to see a bigger image of the CD, just right click, and click, "Open in new tab" and you can view it in all it's amazing detail.

iPhone Autocorrect Blunders

2011-08-01T19:52:00.001-07:00

iPhone Autocorrect Blunders

2011-08-01T19:51:00.000-07:00

a shout out for one of my old high school friends

2011-07-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

this guy here, is probably one of the most talented and upcoming country singers I have heard in a long time. and guess what? I went to school with this guy! haha. that's right! and let me tell ya,he has got some serious talent! you can't help but tap your foot along to the beat of this rockin little country love song. She Drives me Country. Mark my words, it's going to be a hit folks!

She Drives Me Country from Dan Kennedy on Vimeo.

Some of the funniest conversations, taken from various Chat rooms...

2011-07-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
DANNY?!?!?!
MOM?!?!?!?!

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

This cake is soooo good
it's like sex, except I'm having it

next person to talk after his line will be kicked :)
*this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide ( 12 ‹ 619 12 › )

so my speakers haven't beeen working for a while
they were plugged into the mic port
umm, i think they are color-coded
haha, i know
i usually just reach back there and guess which hole it is
* npl has set the topic on channel #cell6 to i usually just reach back there and guess which hole it is

which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Neither.
Because it's twelve.

* @Lan plays with his privates.
...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
Chris: Spider Man
Tim: batman
Sidd: batman
Mjordan2nd: I'd be god

In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.

(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....

lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
haha mendo
take a screen shot
wait
that made no sense

I think the people above me are having sex
either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it

Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!

Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

damn
FUCK
DAMN
i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
FUCK
i go like this to her
"i want to suck on your clit"
FUCK

This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
"However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."

there was this one time I was wanking to porn...
... I kept a javascript tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing
so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs
alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door
I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"
and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a fucking javascript tutorial"

Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?
nope
kool
How well does it handle blacks
I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work

brad, your mom is fine as shit

i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother

Jesus-fucking christ!!!

Woah, I got the weirdest moment of my entire life this morning
what happened?
you know, there was a party at my neighbours' last night
yeah, you've been fucking drunk..
you've been there, too?
sure...
well, you see i can't remember anything
but this morning I woke up in my bed, and there was my mom lying next to me.
wtf...?
That's exactly what i thought
So, my mom got up instantly when i woke up, smiled at me and said "U're so much better than your dad is." then she left the room
OMFG!!!
you didnt do that! TELL ME IT WASNT LIKE THAT!!! TELL ME YOU'RE A DUMBASS LIAR!!!
no, i'm not lying
OMG!!!
but it turned out she was playing a trick on me. Paycheck for coming home late, all drunk.
...
your mom's such a freak. o.O

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> :o
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'

i like stalked this girl sorta :D
like once she asked me for a ride home from work
and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen

"Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

can you guys see what I type?
no, raize
How do I set it up so you can see it?

Well, it rained today, but as a whole it's been warmer than it was last week.
Why does it seem like every time you join this channel, you end up talking about the weather?
Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the weather?
Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the weather.
I mean, we barely even know anything about you, other than where you live.
Let's start there. What do you do for a living?
I'm a meteorologist.

dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.

<@maddox> FUCK!
<@maddox> my mom just found my website
<+DMTec> isn't she proud?
<+khoveraki> ha
<@naken> you've been on tv 2 times, in the newspapers several times, been banned from a country, has 40 million pageviews
<@naken> and you didn't tell your mother?
<@maddox> "what is this? Did you draw this? It looks like a penis." "No mom, I didn't draw a penis"
<+DMTec> ROFL
<+DMTec> "no mom, i didn't draw a penis" thats good
<@maddox> now she's crying
haha, your mom doesn't know about your website?
<@maddox> (on the phone)
<+DMTec> maddox: did she see the "suprise - I have a penis"-greeting card?
<@maddox> dmtec: oh fuck, I forgot about that.. yeah I guess I did draw a penis.
bahahahaha
<@maddox> hahahahahaha she just said "I wish I would have died and not raised you"
<+khoveraki> rofl
<@maddox> she hung up
You are dispwned maddox

ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you something
cyph33r: what
cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf
ruide: haha
cyph33r: what did you want to show me
ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to
ruide: bubblegal_14
cyph33r: wtf
cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick
ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight asshole
cyph33r: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT YOU KNOW THAT
cyph33r: I FUCKING HATE YOU
ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it right?
cyph33r: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
and it typed out "France"
we were like, wtf?

Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
Yeah I know.
Oh wait
You mean, like, a concert?
yes

Jesus Saves
pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

ok...so just figured I would share this funny little conversation I had with a very dear friend of mine. Enjoy!

2011-07-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Catillac Cat: faith is hard for me.
Catillac Cat: you know this.
Raven: not in god, but in me, and in life.
Catillac Cat: you, maybe.
Catillac Cat: life, sorta
Catillac Cat: well, you, assuredly
Catillac Cat: but not any kind of god, no
Raven: haha. as I said, not in god
Raven: I know you're an athiest
Raven: Carlos is a priest now. haha
Raven: but thankfully he doesn't preach too often. .haha
Catillac Cat: If there is any kind of diety, then the diety is an absentee landlord, a drunken parent too busy taking a shit to pay attention
Raven: lmao
Catillac Cat: That was my theory
Catillac Cat: God is on the toiler
Raven: lol
Catillac Cat: He's too busy trying to squeeze the massive log out of his ass to know what's going on
Raven: you always did have the most amusing way of looking at things
Catillac Cat: It's gonna be like that one time he got stuck in the bathroom after the creation. Next time he came back, he noticed that he had a huge dinosaur problem
Catillac Cat: And the meteor is like a can of cosmic Raid
Catillac Cat: He needs to lay off the mac and cheese, is all I'm saying. It's nature's ass cork.
Raven: lmao
Raven: omg! I would SO love to post this part of our conversation on my blog. haha
Catillac Cat is typing...
Catillac Cat: Go for it
Raven: that is some funny shit.

A little Poster I designed for all us country folk out there.

2011-07-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

You may have to click on the image to view it in it's full form or visit it here

funny words of wisdom

2011-07-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

Beauty is only skin deep, ugly

goes to the bone.

When the plane you are on

is late, the plane you

want to transfer to is on time.

When all else fails, follow

instructions.

The lion and the lamb shall lie

down together, but the lamb won't

get much sleep.

Justice always prevails...

three times out of seven.

When you are up to your ass

in alligators, it is difficult

to remind yourself that your

initial objective was

to drain the swamp.

When working on a project,

if you put away a tool

that you're certain you're

finished with, you will
need it instantly.

Those whose approval

you seek the most

give you the least.

If it should exist,

it doesn't.

If it does exist,

it's out of date.

If you can't learn

to do it well,

you should learn

to enjoy doing it badly.

Always remember to pillage

before you burn.

Any simple idea

must be worded

in the most complicated way.

A bird in the hand

is safer than one overhead.

What gets you promoted

on one level will

get you fired on another.

If it can be borrowed

and it can be broken,

you will borrow it

and you will break it.

When you are over the hill,

you pick up speed.

Misery no longer loves company.

Nowadays it insists on it.

If you buy bananas or avocados

before they are ripe,

there won't be any left

by the time they are ripe.

If you buy them ripe,

they rot before they are eaten.

In order to get a loan

you must first prove

you don't need it.

Nothing in the known universe

travels faster than a bad check

The more ridiculous a belief system,

the higher the probability of its success.

A surprise monetary windfall

will be accompanied

by an unexpected expense

of the same amount.

When you're up to your nose in it,

keep your mouth shut.

All people are cremated equal.

Anyone can do any amount of work,

provided it isn't the work he is

supposed to be doing at that moment.

Buttered bread tends to fall

with the buttered side down.

Live within your income,

even if you have to borrow to do so.

If you want your name spelled wrong, die.

What you don't know

will always hurt you.

If you think education is expensive --

try ignorance.

If you're feeling good,

don't worry. You'll get over it.

Never go to a doctor

whose office plants have died.

If everything seems to be coming your way,

you're probably in the wrong lane.

A welfare state is one

that assumes responsibility

for the health, happiness,

and general well being

of all its citizens

except the taxpayers.

Anybody that wants the presidency

so much that he'll spend two years

organizing and campaigning for it

is not to be trusted with the office.

Whenever a system becomes completely defined,

someone discovers something

which either abolishes the system

or expands it beyond recognition.

All progress is based on

a universal innate desire

on the part of every organism

to live beyond its income.

funny words of wisdom

2011-06-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

just a few little things to remember while going about your day to day lives. Though they are funny, they are kind of true. lol

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

When you try to prove to someone that something won't work, it will.

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Some people manage by the book - even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and will cost the most.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.

A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.

There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.

For any given software, as soon as you master it, a new version of that software appears.

The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.

The chance a copy machine will break down is proportional to the importance of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount of time till the material will be needed.

The more knowledge you gain, the less certain you are of it.

The more important your email is, the worse your email program will screw it up.

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Air Traffic Controller Talk: These conversations are said to be real.

2011-06-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

now...before I begin, let me first start off by saying, I have no way of knowing for sure if these conversations are actually real or not, but it is rumored that they have all actually happened. so that said, let's enjoy some of these ironic and often smart assed conversations, but be warned...I can not be held responsible if anyone should injure themselves while in the throws of laughter, or soil their undergarments while pissing themselves laughing.

now...on with the show:

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "We are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was bored, not stupid!"

Tower: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound." United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this: I've got the little Fokker in sight."

A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following -Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

Allegedly, while taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" US Air 2771: "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Some interesting, funny and...WTF?! O.o pictures I've run across

2011-05-07T04:31:00.000-07:00

Ok...so this always puzzled me...I have seen many instances like these taken from the apple I-Pod Auto correct/spell check feature that comes with the phone. You would THINK, with as many times as this feature has caused moments like THESE, that people would smarten up and realize, the iPad and iPod products SUCK! You would think a company that claims to be professional would beta test their applications before implementing them in a product that the whole WORLD will be using.

This is just further evidence that apple and mac fans are freakin' crazy.

ok...how funny is THIS. Man does search for world of warcraft, and it asks him if he's a male virgin. lmao! The funniest part about this, is this is more often true than not. HAHAHA!

I happen to be a REALLY big reptile fan, and THIS is why. I mean look at the awsomeness of this animal. truly one that commands respect. Most of these animals can outweigh a human three fold, And well...as you can see here, they are amazing hunters. you won't even know they are there, until you see THIS.

ok, this is definately one of those WTF moments, Here is a woman, supposedly wheelchair bound, but she is ?? Miraculously cured at the sight of booze??? O.o THIS is why it is so hard for honestly handicapped people to get social security income. Because people like THIS abuse the system. Apparently the moral concept of honesty has died along with the concept of "TheAmerican Dream."

Ok, this has to be the BEST cake EVER. hahahaha! TOTAL red-neck. I LOVE it! Just take in the awesomeness of this cake. They actually did a remarkable job on the deer, I must say.

Since we are on the subject of totally awesomely cool cakes, here's another one that just totally Kicks ass on the creative Richter scale. Dragons are just epically cool. I want one of THESE for my wedding cake. hahahaha. That would be KICK ass.

Alright, normally I'm not one for posting the "awwww, isn't that cuuute" images...but I couldn't help but get a chuckle out of this one.

Just further proof that Wal-Mart is for Red-Necks. yea...this is what I think of when I think mother's day. HAHAHA! Honestly...with the way my mother is...this may not be a bad idea. lmao. But seriously folks, how many people think of their mother having sex when they buy her a mother's day present? HAHAHAHA! just another one of those amazing marketing WTF O.o moments. I actually have a few...ok a little MORE than a few of these little beauties to share so I'll just post them all next.

Apparently Dominoe's Pizza is a fan of paradoxes. I mean...if you are supposedly able to choose "any number of toppings" why is there a limit of 5 toppings? O.o This is a false advertising lawsuit if I ever saw one. haha!

Here is one of my personal favorite Marketing blunders...or was it REALLY a blunder? Kind of makes you think, considering Facebook has developed quite a reputation concerning that "Poke" feature. For those of you unaware, there is a little rumor going around that if you want to "hook up" with someone...you just "Poke" them on Facebook.

Ok, This one...I am almost at a loss for WORDS at the lack of thought that went into choosing a name for this pizza restaurant. I mean...I don't know about YOU folks, but the LAST thing in the world I want to be thinking about when I stit down to a nice slice of pizza, is...HERPES! I mean the idea of puss oozing sores over a person's genitals, isn't exactly appetite inducing.

Erm...yea...ok...Why do I want a bag of your dad's nutz? O.o

Ok...along with the Marketing idiots, I figure I should post one or two that were little "strokes" of genius (yes, that pun is VERY intended here) This little marketing strategy made me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself. Having worked in construction, I have never seen these gloves (for all I know, this could be photoshopped) but...I will say, if this is a real company..."Way to go guys! Thanks for keepin the crew laughing!" if it is NOT, then one of you glove companies out there should really adopt this slogan. haha I LOVE IT!

As crazy as this display may seem....it is actually a stroke of marketing genius in disguise. Think about it...you go on a picnic with that special someone....things usually end up heating up...but who thinks to bring a condom on a picnic? *ponders a moment about how many babies were possibly conceived at a picnic setting*

THIS is called being "a day late and a dollar short." with THIS little marketing idea.

Ok...this is definately one of those WTF was this person THINKING when they set up this display? I mean...stars of David sales tags on the chest? Was this person a Nazzi or something? Somehow I don't suspect they get many Jewish clients here.

This gave me a little chuckle. I am certainly not for the mistreatment of animals, but even all you tree huggers out there have to admit, this is some funny stuff.

Ok...I'm a little perplexed as to what demographic this particular display is aiming for...O.o just another one of those...WTF! moments, brought to you by your friendly neighborhood comedy blogger.

You got to love it when a company, advertising to help feed americans is selling products made in CHINA to help fund their cause. Wouldn't the sale of these shirts actually be helping CHINA more so than the USA? Not to mention the false advertising scam going on here.

Except maybe getting this tattoo. Think the artist may have been dipping into the weed a bit too much and forgot how to spell.

ok, you're probably going to have to click on this image and stare really hard below the image to make out what this actually says here in the caption, but let me type it here for you, so y'all can take in the irony of this post. "Tyrone gonna bail out soon babay i love u hang in there!" hahaha. I'm sorry...I can't help but laugh at the things people are willing to just plaster all over a public place like Facebook. And they wonder why they get no respect.

I have been asked a couple times by various people, why I don't like Madona. Well...here is just ONE of the many examples of why. Yea, she's a real class act, this one. Don't get me wrong, I can get just as wild as the next girl...but...I think THIS...is taking it just a BIT too far.

And people wonder why America has a problem with obesity. O.o WTF? is there really a NEED for a jar of Nutella that big?

Speaking of Obesity...folks...if you are THIS fat...do yourself and your poor motorcycle a favor, and lock your refrigerator door, and put your fat ass on a treadmill! I have to admit, the driver of this bike has to be one skilled ass driver to pull this shit off. that has GOT to throw off the center of gravity of that bike like 10 fold. HAHA!

Something tells me "Mom" should have had this talk with their child a little sooner. But...props for mom and the creative way of getting the message across. I got a little chuckle out of it.

Well....I hope you all enjoyed this post, I am hoping to come out with some more soon, so stay tuned.

Totally Obsurd Craig's List Posting

2011-05-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

ok...my roommate Marc forwarded this little beauty to me the other night, and I finally got around to posting this little gem of a LOL personals ad. I can't believe someone actually posted something like this there. I mean...WTF! yes! this DEFINATELY qualifies as one of those things that make you go WTF!?? O.o

Visit the posting at http://burlington.craigslist.org/cas/2353396929.html to contact the person who posted this.

Diseased Drug Addict - m4w

Date: 2011-04-29, 3:24PM

Diseased chain smoking drug addict wants female with big tits and a job. Must be under 400 lbs and no older then 70. Those with some teeth go to the front of the line. No pic, no reply.

Location: Lamoille
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Original URL: http://burlington.craigslist.org/cas/2353396929.html

this craigslist posting was forwarded to you by someone using our email-a-friend feature - if you want to prevent these, please go to:
http://www.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/te/U2FsdGVkX185NjY3OTY2Np0DXD0fdtqe1m6A_DX7_BCbBFP9T--xKAL-oF7HApNZ0SbHohCwwtdG0AA5QqC9cQ

ok, this is kind of a funny google search I found

2011-03-04T07:04:00.000-08:00

I was doing a search on google for a dynamic IP address bouncer, and I managed to run across one very funny site description that you just kind of have to see to believe this....I can see the catch phraze for this little piece of software, "INCASE YOUR INTERNET IS ON THE RAG...."

ok...this is going to make you roll on the floor laughing!

2010-10-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled on a website used in a game that I design for called Second Life. And the obsurdity of this site struck me as rather hilarious. I was thinking as I was on this site, what a person who has never heard of secondlife would think of it, if he/she should happen to stumble upon it by accident. HAHA! Well...I will put a screen shot of this site for you up here so you can see what I mean.

(to get a better view of this image so you can actually READ it, just right click and view in a new tab or window so you can follow this.

Now...as you see in the first arrow...the Titan they show here, is basically the "biggest cock on the block" so to speak. You got to love a world where the men can control the size of their cock! oh if it were a perfect world. LMAO! however...considering the last thing to be named after the god Titan....maybe they should have chose a better name for this beast. LMAO!

now the next point of interest I found amusing was the "all new positions" like Laying down. This really got me laughing because yea...what a novel concept...having sex while laying down...I don't know about you...but what planet are these people from if they consider laying down while having sex a NEW concept? Makes me wonder what positions they HAVE been trying though. *ponders the idea for a moment.* ok...anyway...on to the next little point of humor I found here...and trust me...there are more images to come. HAHA!

fully customizable cocks to make them look entirely unique...ok...pretty interesting concept...the fact that you have to BUY a cock at all is absurd to begin with, but anywho...yea. if you are one of those freaks that has a set of cock and balls that could set off a metal detector at an airport...this is the game for you. HAHAHA! they have leashes and spikes, piercings, clothes pins, you NAME it. if it is completely disturbed and something only a sick twisted mind could come up with...chances are, you'll find it on Second Life. HAHAHA.

ok, so on to the next image...

ok...first up is your new configurable cock. hahaha. you can have the cock of your choice...ok guys...ever been peeing at a urinal and see some guy with a bigger cock than you? Bet ya wished you could have a cock like that...right? well... now you can...don't like the cock you got? just trade it in and buy a new one. LMAO! this would be a great feature to have in Real Life...don't you agree? LMAO! you're girlfriend give you the clap? no worries, just get a new penis! LMAO!

And now they have it all on video for you to watch! imagine that. hahaha. virtual porn! yup that's right folks. Second life has a whole adult appeal to it as well...as if that wasn't obvious by now, but yea... people are actually VIDEOTAPING themselves having virtual sex

Now this last part I found amusing... the cool thing about this little feature is if you log on to the website...(you actually have to have purchased this item to get access to it however, I only am relaying information from men on Second Life who have this fun little toy. haha) there are a ton of little options you can choose from as to what kind of things actually turn YOU on so you can make your cock in this virtual world react in much the same way your's would in RL. what a hoot...right?

yea, so imagine how convenient this would be in real life though...I mean...Imagine if you are one of those types that keeps getting turned on whenever you are around say...your wife's sister...you could see how this would be a problem. haha. well...just log on to a website, make a few adjustments and presto, you are no longer horny for your wife's sister and now get turned on only when you are around your wife. Women...Imagine how great this would be! got a cheating man? just hack his account and make him faithful to only you. HAHAHA! oh the beauty of Second Life. haha. If only RL were as simple. lmao!

Phucked up on Craig's list again!!

2010-08-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

ok...every once and a while you may be stumbling around on the net, and come across something that really make you wonder about the people we put in charge. ok...so while I was looking around the Vermont Craig's List job listings I found this incredible marketing blunder that you just have to read to believe...so with no more further ado...

12 dollars cash paid at end of day (ludow VT)

Date: 2010-08-29, 10:07AM EDT
Reply to: marcaerichsen@yahoo.com ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

Looking for one or two laborers for three to five days starting on sept. 6 to help with roofing. roofing experience a plus. Must be strong enough tp lift 100 Lbs. up a one sory ladder. Mostly will be picking up shingles and carrying shingle bundles up ladder.

ok...so by the title alone (which is SERIOUSLY lacking punctuation skills) we are led to believe this person wants to hire someone for a measly 12 bucks. and as we read on we are further appalled to see it is not just one day, but 3 whole days of lumping 100 pound shingle bunches up a one story ladder...ok...no I'm not afraid of a little hard labor...but REALLY? I mean come ON people! Get your act together and don't have hillbilly hank or Red neck Rob, do the posting for your business!

more excerpts from FML.com (F**K My Life!)

2010-08-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to my new doctor to establish the paperwork. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "what do you do?". I told her I normally did vaginal, but would sometimes do anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

3.

Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML

4.

Today I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for the first time for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there". Long awkward silence. FML

5.

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

the joys of Walmart

2010-07-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

ok, below are some pictures sent to me by Shawn Daisey after I showed him my blog. And I thought you all would like to have a little laugh with me about the crazy things you see at Walmart.

something tells me THIS guy won't b e needing those condoms.

ok...it's bad enough that this woman is wearing spandex pants...but did she have to get them in flesh tone?

just another case of dunlap disease. her belly dun lapped over her belt. YUCK!

I'm not an expert on fashion sense, but I'm pretty sure the bowl cut has been out of style for many years now.

who let the ice queen of narnia out? talk about a freak...wtf. lol

for some reason this guy makes me want to swing my hips and sing elvis tunes.

ummm...wtf is THIS? the first elderly gay pirate?

yup, summer's here...and with it the oh so attractive swamp ass.

ummm...not sure why this chic decided that showing ass cleavage was a good idea, but personally...I thought the knot was supposed to be tied in the front. lol

yup, say no to crack.

ok...fat people should NOT wear short skirts. the fat rolls on the back really don't do much to flatter this outfit.

guess this woman decided wearing pants was too much of a hassle. I mean after all...it's just walmart...right? most people I know will put on a pair of pants if someone shows up at their house to visit, so I wonder what made this woman think to spare the pants?

the saying, "10 lbs of meat stuffed into a 5 lb. sack" comes to mind here.

little bo peep? all we need now are the sheep.

no this woman is NOT pregnant. and no that is NOT her stomach. gravity really DOES suck. lol

ok...sorry...but men with hairy arms like this should really spare the rest of the world from having to see this atrocity and wear a long sleeve shirt for crying out loud.

ummm....I keep expecting to see those things pop out of that shirt like any second now.

yea...uhhh....this is why they have the try before you buy policy. TRY THE DAMNED CLOTHES ON FIRST! and honestly...you should be shopping in the salad isle lady!

just one more reason fat people should not wear skimpy clothes.

omg! It's a giant bumble bee!

oh my it's a...wtf IS this anyway? for some reason I'm really creeped out by this image.

hookers like cake too apparently.

ok, pony tails look stupid enough on a man as it is...but take away half the hair...and well...now you look like you are going through a mid life crisis.

ummm...this is why men should not dress in drag.

ok. this guy is just cool. I'm sorry. But you have to admire a man who just doesn't give a shit.

ummm....something tells me the air freshner isn't going to help this guy at this point. HEY! stain remover is in isle 7!

ok, images of that creepy witch character from the dark crystal come to mind here.

honestly...why do fat women feel the need to dress like this? seriously...WTF!

ok, here I saved the best for last. this guy could have at least worn underwear. the part that makes this so funny is I actually KNOW this guy from back when I lived in Dover, NH. HAHA!

Bizarre and funny pictures from around the web

2010-07-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

ok, below are a few pictures I have collected from various places on the net when I ran a search for "weird shit". I'm sure you will all find these rather amusing, as I got quite a few laughs from them myself, and thought I would share them.
this one got a bit of a chuckle out of me. I guess it's probably because I never really liked MJ that much. He always gave me the creeps.

this one here is kind of funny. You would think the woman putting this dress up for sale would have thought to get her vibrator out of the shot before posting this little gem. HAHA! Kind of reminds me of the Monica Lewinsky incident. HAHA! blue dress...sex toys...

Something tells me THIS is the chic who probably posted the picture above. Because i think you would have to be this drunk to miss something THAT obvious. Seriously though...people...if you EVER get to this point in your life...you might as well just give up.

Honestly, I'm not sure which part of this is more disturbing to me. The fact that there is some old lady giving a cake with a dick a blow job, or the fact that that little girl in the background is now traumatized for life after seeing her grandmother blowing a cake. (I suppose it would give new meaning to "blow" out the candles)

ok This I just HAD to post on my blog because it happened in my home town of Hampton new Hampshire. That's right folks, good ol' Hampton beach. Only here can you find the weirdest of the weird back woods redneck shit that makes you go WTF! Here we have a fire that took place on hampton beach, and the normal looking guy was the one actually IN the house...but his neighbor...as you see...not so normal. I wonder what made him throw on his ummm...gorilla suit??? before coming outside to watch the commotion next door. makes you wonder what he was actually DOING before the disturbance took place...doesn't it?

Lieing people!

2010-04-23T04:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is most DEFINITELY a rant, and not a very funny one either, but in the light of the blog, I'm going to try really hard to MAKE it funny. But the main point to this post is to call someone out for the phony he really is. Someone who is too much of a coward to be himself when trying to catch the attentions of the fairer sex.

Now, I'm pretty sure I MAY get a slander suit from posting this, but I'm willing to take that chance because this is a conversation taken straight from my yahoo chat. Right there in black and white and I have saved the conversation to my hard drive and made copies on disk just to protect myself.

I have also given a copy to a friend of mine who works in the radio business just in case something should happen from my posting this here, but I feel it is worth the risk in this case so some other poor woman doesn't get caught up in this guy's crap and manipulative ways. As you will see from this convo...he even tried to twist the fact he lied to ME around to it all being MY fault. This guy is a master at making a person feel guilty for things they shouldn't feel guilty about. Stupid things like the way you say something. I couldn't say the phrase "as you wish" I couldn't use the term pussy to describe my woman parts. I wasn't allowed to be myself with him. my whole experience with him had to be done with restraint and honestly, I had to walk on egg shells with this guy, only to find out in the end...he lied to me.

anyway...here is the conversation:

Alek (4/23/2010 6:36:21 AM): Rest is good.
Alek (4/23/2010 6:36:35 AM): So are healing and peace.
Alek (4/23/2010 6:36:44 AM):
Raven (4/23/2010 6:51:08 AM): just woke up
Raven (4/23/2010 6:51:16 AM): feel a little better today
Alek (4/23/2010 6:51:21 AM): good
Alek (4/23/2010 6:51:38 AM): You are in my prayers.
Raven (4/23/2010 6:51:46 AM): ty
Alek (4/23/2010 6:52:53 AM): always....
Raven (4/23/2010 6:55:09 AM): been scouring Craig's List looking for work
Alek (4/23/2010 6:56:25 AM): ok
Alek (4/23/2010 7:00:08 AM): I wish you every success.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:00:23 AM): thanks hun. gonna need it.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:01:25 AM): certainly
Alek (4/23/2010 7:02:11 AM): and, when you have your life stabilized, I will disclose my TRUE identity to you.
ok, at THIS point, I'm going WTF! he just basically said he lied to me, and is like all calm about it and shit.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:02:15 AM):
Raven (4/23/2010 7:02:31 AM): pardon?
Raven (4/23/2010 7:03:47 AM): are you telling me what you have told me about yourself isn't true? that you are really someone else??????
Keep in mind, from past experiences with this guy, I have found that getting angry right off the bat is not a good idea, so I just simply asked the question. but inside I'm going, "what the FUCK!"
Alek (4/23/2010 7:04:02 AM): only that I am not 30-something
Alek (4/23/2010 7:04:07 AM): all the rest is true
Raven (4/23/2010 7:04:24 AM): so you lied about your age?
keep in mind, the last time someone lied to me about their age I had 6 guns drawn on me and was about to be arrested for federal kidnapping charges because I thought the kid was 18. he lied to me and told me he was 18 when in fact he was only 14. yea. and stupid me, I transported him over state lines.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:04:27 AM): WHY????
Raven (4/23/2010 7:04:36 AM): I never lied to you!
Alek (4/23/2010 7:04:42 AM): I do not wish to discuss this
Alek (4/23/2010 7:04:46 AM): goodbye
Raven (4/23/2010 7:05:04 AM): of course you don't. because you actually did something wrong.
Just like a cowardly man to run away when he knows he has been caught doing something wrong.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:05:20 AM): I refuse to reveal my personal information on slk
Alek (4/23/2010 7:05:23 AM): goodbye
Alek (4/23/2010 7:05:29 AM): sl*
Alek (4/23/2010 7:05:32 AM): too much risk
Raven (4/23/2010 7:05:37 AM): this is not SL!
This conversation actually happened on Yahoo, NOT SL (Second Life) So this goes to show you just how mentally disturbed this guy is, he can't even distinguish the reality of what chat form he is using.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:05:49 AM): and just what kind of risk can I pose to you?
Raven (4/23/2010 7:05:58 AM): I am a high school drop out.
This guy "claims" to be a doctor and a lawyer, but honestly, I don't think I would trust him to defend me, OR give me medical advice at this point if he can't even be honest about his AGE! and yes, I am not ashamed to say I am a high school drop out. At least I'm smart enough to know that lieing will get you nowhere in life except a lot of bullshit and pain.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:06:00 AM): calling me a "liar"
Alek (4/23/2010 7:06:09 AM): goodbye
Raven (4/23/2010 7:06:18 AM): well, you DID lie about your age...so...if the shoe fits.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:06:23 AM): I made an offer of complete openness
apparently he thinks lieing about his age is being OPEN??? this guy really IS delusional
Alek (4/23/2010 7:06:26 AM): b;lockied
Raven (4/23/2010 7:06:54 AM): but what I THOUGHT was openness was not really openness
Raven (4/23/2010 7:07:12 AM): so how can I be certain now that you would really be open? or if it just another lie?
Raven (4/23/2010 7:07:24 AM): if you would lie about your age...
Alek (4/23/2010 7:07:25 AM): we are done here
Raven (4/23/2010 7:07:30 AM): what else would you lie about?
Alek (4/23/2010 7:07:34 AM): do not write me again
of course he doesn't want me to write him again, because every time I do, I remind him of how much of a manipulating bastard he is.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:07:39 AM): you betrayed my trust.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:07:59 AM): you don't understand, the LAST time someone lied about their age, I almost got arrested!!!
Alek (4/23/2010 7:08:11 AM): DONE!
Raven (4/23/2010 7:08:13 AM): so this shit tends to make me a bit nervous
Raven (4/23/2010 7:08:24 AM): whatever. I don't want a liar in my life anyway
Alek (4/23/2010 7:08:40 AM): Solved
Alek (4/23/2010 7:08:47 AM): Consider me gone
Raven (4/23/2010 7:08:54 AM): you did it to yourself
Raven (4/23/2010 7:09:00 AM): when you lied about your age
Alek (4/23/2010 7:09:08 AM): I want no p[art of a sick, reactive bitch
a sick reactive bitch huh? I think I reacted the same way any other sane person would react when confronted with the fact the person they had fallen in love with had lied about their age.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:09:16 AM): I did nothinmg to myself
Alek (4/23/2010 7:09:20 AM): \not a thinbg
Raven (4/23/2010 7:09:29 AM): sick reactive bitch? how did you expect me to react when you told me you lied about your agew???
Raven (4/23/2010 7:09:40 AM): how would YOU feel if I had lied to YOU?
Raven (4/23/2010 7:09:47 AM): I bet you'd be pretty pissed
Raven (4/23/2010 7:10:11 AM): what if I told you I'm really a 12 year old middle schooler? And you jacked off in front of me!
Raven (4/23/2010 7:10:49 AM): I bet it would make you feel sick
Raven (4/23/2010 7:11:02 AM): well, finding out you aren't what you said you are is making ME sick
Alek (4/23/2010 7:11:23 AM): I warned you about more hostility against me
like he has the right to "warn" me about anything at this point. HAHAHA!
Raven (4/23/2010 7:11:44 AM): well, what did you think would happen when you tell me you lied about your age? seriously?
Alek (4/23/2010 7:11:45 AM): And the reason I do not disclosure certain aspects of my identity is precisely
Alek (4/23/2010 7:11:52 AM): on account of meeting people like you
people like me huh? just what is that supposed to mean? people who don't like being lied to...I think he will find that is like the whole fucking WORLD!
Raven (4/23/2010 7:11:52 AM): just when I was trying to make things work!!!
Alek (4/23/2010 7:11:54 AM): goodbye
Alek (4/23/2010 7:12:02 AM): There is nothing to work
Raven (4/23/2010 7:12:07 AM): because you BROKE IT!
Raven (4/23/2010 7:12:17 AM): no relationship can be built on lies!
Raven (4/23/2010 7:12:24 AM): because it will crumble
Raven (4/23/2010 7:12:32 AM): even YOU should know that
Raven (4/23/2010 7:20:51 AM): I just can't believe you lied to me. I am just shocked, hurt and I feel...like a fool for believing you.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:21:26 AM): whatever
Alek (4/23/2010 7:21:47 AM): A sl cyberwhore and a roommate of Brioan and Joe has now become a moralist.
This is where it gets really funny. I PLAY the ROLL of an escort on a video game, yet he is so warped he can't tell the difference between fact and fiction here. I am NOT a "cyber whore" in real life. I do NOT get naked on cam or talk dirty to men in real life. it is a freaking GAME, not reality.
Alek (4/23/2010 7:21:48 AM): bye
Alek (4/23/2010 7:21:59 AM): lover age
Alek (4/23/2010 7:22:03 AM): over age
Alek (4/23/2010 7:22:08 AM): goodbye
Alek (4/23/2010 7:22:21 AM): I want nothing more to do with you.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:22:31 AM): I'd rather be a cyber whore than a liar
Raven (4/23/2010 7:22:42 AM): at least I tell the truth
Raven (4/23/2010 7:25:13 AM): for all I know you could be some fat loser couch potato chain smoking in front of his computer jacking off to kiddie porn. I mean hell, if you'd lie about something as simple as your age, what else would you lie about? maybe you aren't really a doctor, maybe you're really just a psycho who THINKS he's a doctor. I mean, think about it! you're a lawyer supposedly anyway...and if your star witness gets caught in a lie, he loses ALL credibility, doesn't he? well...the same thing happens in real life.
at this point he stopped responding, probably because he had finally accepted that I was right, but more than likely so he could go con some other poor shmuck of a woman into believing his bullshit.
Raven (4/23/2010 7:47:04 AM): Phorxy Paolino‧: You deserve better than that, hunni. You're right. If someone lies to you about one thing, then god knows what else they've lied to you about
Raven (4/23/2010 7:47:14 AM): I'm not the only one

top 20 excerpts from fmylife.com

2010-01-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

Below are a few of my favorite examples of people's fucked up lives and how no matter what, when you think your life is fucked up beyond all recognition, there is always someone out there who is having it worse off than you.

1. Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML

2. Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

3. Today, 3 days before my wedding day, I found out that my fiance is sleeping with one of my bridesmaids. I just cancelled a $200,000 wedding. I would go into more detail, but I have to help my family (who flew in from Poland, California, and Massachusetts) book flights back home. FML

4. Today, my teenage stepdaughters, as a punishment for refusing to buy them iphones, told my wife they saw me in town kissing an attractive blonde and grabbing her ass (all invented). She believed it and i'm single. I've been faithful and feeding the whole family for 10 years. FML

5. Today, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I called all my family members to invite them over this evening because I had some very important news for them that could not wait. They all declined the invite. When I asked why, they said they were going to my cousins to watch his new TV. FML

6. Today, I was reported to my principal because someone caught me shooting up at the cafeteria lunch table and as a result I have been suspended from school. I am a diabetic, I was giving myself insulin before I ate crappy school food. FML

7. Today, I found out my mother has another new boyfriend. She told me she wanted me to meet him, and I reluctantly agreed. When I walked out to meet him in the living room, to my surprise, I knew him. He's 18, my mother is 44. He also happens to be in my second period high school math class. FML

8. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML

9. Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

10. Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

11. Today, my child says "Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick." I say "Well, honey, that's normal and ok." Then I ask when it does that. And he says "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes..." FML

12. Today, I turned 18. Nothing was said at breakfast, but I figured they'd remember and we'd have cake at night. I came home and there was cake, but not for me. My sister got her period for the first time during the day and they were celebrating. Apparently, a vaginal discharge was more important. FML

13. Today, I was walking slowly and awkwardly down the stairs on my crutches. After two steps, a screw fell out of the left crutch and it collapsed. I now have a broken arm from trying to protect my broken leg as I tumbled down two flights of stairs. FML

14. Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

15. Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

16. Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

17. Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

18. Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

19. Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

20. Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

why is it so hard to find a NORMAL roomate situation?

2009-12-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

OK, this is not really a funny post. Infact it is really rather sad that the world has come to this kind of thing. But I had to get this off my chest. I am in the process of trying to find a roomate to live with, and I have been running into the same recurring problem. the only people who are offering to have me roomate with them are men. and of COURSE...the old standby "Men only think of one thing" has proven more true than one can imagine. below is just ONE of the conversations I have had in the process of trying to find a decent place to live.

Alan ....: wakey wakey
Raven: hey there.
Alan ....: hey
Raven: how's work going?
Alan ....: its going lol
Alan ....: hows ur morning
Raven: meh...it's going. lol
Alan ....: lol
Raven: seem to have a bit of sore throat thismorning though.
Alan ....: that sucks
Alan ....: so i was thinkin last night i dont think its gonna work out unless we are fucking
Raven: good bye then
Raven: I didn't think you were that shallow but guess I was wrong
Alan ....: guess so
Alan ....: whats so wrong about sex?
Raven: I don't like to be pressured into it.
Raven: there is nothintg wrong with it
Raven: but I don't like the whole, you can live here if you fuck me bit.;
Raven: it is wrong and feels like I am being manipulated into it.
Alan ....: well idk isnt it better then living on the street
Raven: nope
Raven: because at least on the street I would still have my self esteem
Raven: and my pride
Raven: I don't use sex as a bartering tool. I use it to express my feelings of love for a person.
Raven: and i will NEVER sink to that level
Raven: I will love because I WANT to love, not because someone tells me I have to for something I want. NOTHING I want is worth that price.
Alan ....: so how long are we talking here
Raven: not long. just long enough to get a job and save a little money for a place of my own.
Raven: a couple months maybe tops.
Raven: I don't see it taking any more than that
Raven: like I said, I am going to take any job I can get at this point
Raven: even if it's flipping burgers
Alan ....: flipping bugers wont pay for ur place
Raven: if I find a roomate situation it will.
Raven: some shared rent thing
Raven: that is all I would need till I could find a BETTER job anyway
Raven: it's all about the baby steps to get to where I want to be.
Raven: I have to start somewhere
Raven: and if flipping burgers is the only way to get there, then I will do it.
Alan ....: i guess
Alan ....: so how long does it take u to get a feel for the guy or whatever
Raven: I dunno, it varies. these things aren't something you can time with a stop watch.
Alan ....: so do u shave or trim
Raven: Look, it is obvious you are only interested in one thing. and currently that is not something I need to be thinking about right now.
Alan ....: why
Raven: because I need to get my shit together before I can think about being involved with anyone.
Alan ....: but if u were with me i could take care of u
Raven: *sigh* I don't want someone to take care of me. I just need a place to go long enough so I can take care of myself.
Raven: When in a position where someone else takes care of you, you grow dependant on them. I hate that feeling.
Alan ....: well i guess have fun on the street
Raven: I have faith I will not end up on the street. not EVERYONE puts such conditions on their relationships.
Alan ....: relationships lolyea we'll see come tuesday
Raven: bye
Alan ....: would u let me go on u
Alan ....: its so simple
Raven: maybe for someone who doesn't value their pride or self worth it may be simple.
Alan ....: shit sometimes u gotta put ur hair down and have fun sometimes
Raven: to me being forced into having sex with someone I barely know is not having fun.
Alan ....: im not saying tonight christ not even tuesday
Raven: I need a smoke.
Alan ....: k
Raven: back
Alan ....: k
Raven: basically, it's like this, I don't like being pressured into sex. I don't like it to be something I feel I HAVE to do.
Alan ....: ok
Alan ....: im not sayin u have to but it would be nice
Raven: you told me at the beginning of this convo that you don't think it will work if we aren't fucking.
Raven: it is the same as saying you can't move in here unless you have sex with me. THAT is basically like saying I have to.
Alan ....: sorry u took it that way i wont bs u im a guy we all have needs u know so im just saying it would be nice.
Raven: well, you are asking something of me that I can not promise to give.
Alan ....: idk then

it seems every time I go searching for a roomate, this shit happens to me. WHY are people so manipulative? WHY do they think it is ok to treat people this way? Do they really think telling me I can't stay there if I don't fuck them is going to make me want to move right in? And why can't people just be nice and give a girl a break? anyway, that is my new rant for the day.

Funny response from a reader

2009-07-08T07:52:00.001-07:00

Here is a short and sweet comment left to me on my ping box while I was outside having my morning cigarette. Thought I would share it as I found it rather amusing.

arnold schwarzenegger: come with me if you want to live
arnold schwarzenegger: (smiley face)
arnold schwarzenegger: Hurry up and talk to me. I'm a desperate pathetic man with no life. and how dare YOU have one! funny blog catch u later!
Visitor 11 has signed out. (7/8/2009 9:50 AM)

Whoever you were...thank you for the little chuckle that brought me.

Ok...Off topic Post

2009-07-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

I have recently found a GREAT way to make a few extra bucks without every really having to leave my computer. There are 3 sites I use for this particular fast cash opportunity. Just click the links highlighted here to see some of these first hand.

The first one Is probably the best of the 3 so far in that it pays you the most per add that I've seen and generally has quite a few adds to keep you busy for a while.

The Second one and probably the most popular anyway, not only has a decent pay out but has a VERY good referral program that can make you LOTS of money if you get your friends involved as well.

and finally the Third one which has a much lower pay out rate but what seems to be a referral program that makes up for the lower pay out. however this usually means you have to work 2x as hard, and well...the idea of this is to make EASY money. I will update this post here and there as I find more legitimate FAST money sites to share with you.

America is robbing it's citizens blind and we don't even seem to CARE!!!

2009-06-22T13:56:00.001-07:00

OK!! you HAVE to see this! ANYONE...even people who aren't doing anything illegal or wrong, or anyone who has EVER smoked a joint in their whole life, or anyone who still does, or anyone who has ever done anything even SLIGHTLY illegal is at risk. Hell, if you just decide to take your life savings with you to move to another state via airplane, you are at risk apparently. I have copied and pasted the page link of this website here to show you something I believe every American should see, And maybe even the United Nations should look at this as a severe injustice to innocent American people! Maybe THEY should step in here and tell the American government to STOP this witch hunt! They are treating it's law abiding citizens like criminals and taking our assets for no reason at ALL! and violating our constitutional rights with their actions!!!!

http://www.isil.org/resources/lit/looting-of-america.html

Here is what it says for those who may not wish to open another web page (people like me who have a slow POS computer. lol)

THE LOOTING OF AMERICA

How over 200 Civil Asset Forfeiture Laws Enable Police to Confiscate Your Home, Bank Accounts & Business Without Trial

by Jarret B. Wollstein

"A police dog scratched at your luggage, so we're confiscating your life savings and you'll never get it back."

Police stopped 49-year-old Ethel Hylton at Houston's Hobby Airport and told her she was under arrest because a drug dog had scratched at her luggage. Agents searched her bags and strip-searched her, but they found no drugs. They did find $39,110 in cash, money she had received from an insurance settlement and her life savings; accumulated through over 20 years of work as a hotel housekeeper and hospital janitor. Ethel Hylton completely documented where she got the money and was never charged with a crime. But the police kept her money anyway. Nearly four years later, she is still trying to get her money back.

Ethel Hylton is just one of a large and growing list of Americans – now numbering in the hundreds of thousands – who have been victimized by civil asset forfeiture. Under civil asset forfeiture, everything you own can be legally taken away even if you are never convicted of a crime.

Suspicion of offenses which, if proven in court, might result in a $200 fine or probation, are being used to justify seizure of tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of property. Totally innocent Americans are losing their cars, homes and businesses, based on the claims of anonymous informants that illegal transactions took place on their property. Once property is seized, it is virtually impossible to get it back.

Property is now being seized in every state and from every social group. Seizures include pocket money confiscated from public-housing residents in Florida; cars taken away from men suspected of soliciting prostitutes in Oregon; and homes taken away from ordinary, middle class Americans whose teenage children are accused of selling a few joints of marijuana. No person and no property is immune from seizure. You could be the next victim. Here are some examples:

* In Washington, DC, police stop black men on the streets in poor areas of the city, and "routinely confiscate small amounts of cash and jewelry." Most confiscated property is not even recorded by police departments. "Resident Ben Davis calls it 'robbery with a badge.'" [USA Today, 5/18/92.]

* In Iowa, "a woman accused of shoplifting a $25 sweater had her $18,000 car – specially equipped for her handicapped daughter - seized as the 'getaway vehicle.'" [USA Today, 5/18/92.]

* Detroit drug police raided a grocery store, but failed to find any drugs. After drug dogs reacted to three $1.00 bills in the cash register, the police seized $4,384 from cash registers and the store safe. According to the Pittsburgh Press, over 92% of all cash in circulation in the US now shows some drug residue.

* In Monmouth, New Jersey, Dr. David Disbrow was accused of practicing psychiatry without a license. His crime was providing counseling services from a spare bedroom in his mother's house. Counseling does not require a license in New Jersey. That didn't stop police from seizing virtually everything of value from his mother's home, totaling over $60,000. The forfeiture squad confiscated furniture, carpets, paintings, and even personal photographs.

* Kathy and Mark Schrama were arrested just before Christmas 1990 at their home in New Jersey. Kathy was charged with taking $500 worth of UPS packages from neighbors' porches. Mark was charged with receiving stolen goods. If found guilty, they might have paid a small fine and received probation. The day after their arrest, their house, cars and furniture were seized. Based upon mere accusation, $150,000 in property was confiscated, without trial or indictment. Police even took their clothing, eyeglasses, and Christmas presents for their 10-year-old son.

The incentive for government agencies to expand forfeiture is enormous. Agencies can easily seize property and they usually keep what they take. According to the Pittsburgh Press, 80% of seizure victims are never even charged with a crime. Law enforcement agencies often keep the best seized cars, watches and TVs for their "departments", and sell the rest.

How extensive are seizures in America today? The Washington Post has reported that the US Marshals Service alone had an inventory of over $1.4 billion in seized assets, including over 30,000 cars, boats, homes and businesses. Federal and state agencies seizing property now include the FBI, the DEA, the US Marshals Service, the Coast Guard, the IRS, local police, state highway patrols, the Department of Housing and Urban Development, FDA, and the Bureau of Land Management. Asset forfeiture is a growth industry. Seizures have increased from $27 million in 1986, to over $644 million in 1991 to over $2 billion today.

Civil asset forfeiture defines a new standard of justice in America; or more precisely, a new standard of injustice. Under civil seizure, property, not an individual is charged with an offense. Even if you are a totally innocent owner, the government can still confiscate your "guilty" property.

If government agents seize your property under civil asset forfeiture, you can forget about being innocent until proven guilty, due process of law, the right to an attorney, or even the right to trial. All of those rights only exist if you are charged with a criminal offense; that is, with an offense which could result in your imprisonment. If you (or your property) are accused of a civil offense (offenses which could not result in your imprisonment), the Supreme Court has ruled that you have no presumption of innocence, no right to an attorney, and no protection from double jeopardy.

Seizure occurs when government takes away your property. Forfeiture is when legal title is permanently transferred to the state. To get seized property returned, you have to fight the full resources of your state or federal government; sometimes both! You have to prove your property's "innocence" by documenting how you earned every cent used to pay for it. You have to prove that neither you nor any of your family members ever committed an illegal act involving the property.

To get a trial, you have to post a non-refundable "bond" of 10% of the value of your property. You have to pay attorney fees – ranging from $5,000 to over $100,000 – out of your own pocket. Money you pay your attorney is also subject to seizure (either before or after the trial) if the government alleges that those funds were "tainted." And you may be forced to go through trial after trial, because under civil seizure the Constitutional protection against "double jeopardy" doesn't apply. Once your property is seized, expect to spend years fighting government agencies and expect to be impoverished by legal fees – with no guarantee of winning – while the government keeps your car, home and bank account.

In fact, in a recent Supreme Court decision (Bennis v. Michigan), the Court said explicitly that innocent owners can be deprived of their property if it's used to facilitate a crime, even without the owner's knowledge or consent. That means you can now lose your home or business because of the action of employees, relatives, or guests, over whom you have absolutely no control.
Police And Prosecutors Have The Incentive
To Confiscate As Much As Possible

Not only do police and prosecutors have the power to seize anything you own on the slightest pretext, they also have the incentive. The dirty little secret of the forfeiture racket is that police, prosecutors and judges can benefit personally by stealing your property.

Brenda Grantland – America's leading asset forfeiture defense attorney – gives these examples of government greed in her book "Your House Is Under Arrest":

* Suffolk County, New York. District Attorney James M. Catterton drives around in a BMW 735I that was seized from an alleged drug dealer. He spent $3,412 from the forfeiture fund for mechanical and body work, including $75 for pin-striping.

* Warren County, New Jersey. The assistant chief prosecutor drives a confiscated yellow Corvette.

* Little Compton, Rhode Island. The seven member police force received $3.8 million from the federal forfeiture fund, and spent it on such things as a new 23-foot boat with trailer, and new Pontiac Firebirds.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. The head of one Los Angeles police forfeiture squad claims his group personally pocketed over $60 million in seized property.

Why do our courts tolerate these outrageous legalized thefts? Because they get their cut. It's completely legal for confiscated property to be used by police, prosecutors and judges, so long as it's for official business. In 1996, a federal district court even ruled that police can personally receive 25% of the value of any confiscated home, car, or business.
Some Police Will Kill You For Your Property

In Malibu, California, park police tried repeatedly to buy the home and land of 61-year-old, retired rancher Don Scott, which was next to national park land. Scott refused. On the morning of October 2, 1992, a task force of 26 LA county sheriffs, DEA agents and other cops broke into Scott's living room unannounced. When he heard his wife, Frances, scream, he came out of his upstairs bedroom with a gun over his head. Police yelled at him to lower his gun. He did, and they shot him dead.

Police claimed to be searching for marijuana which they never found. Ventura County DA Michael Bradbury concluded that the raid was "motivated at least in part, by a desire to seize and forfeit the ranch for the government . . . [The] search warrant became Donald Scott's death warrant."
We Must Stop Asset Forfeiture Now

As police confiscations become more and more outrageous, opposition has been mounting. California and several other states defeated draconian forfeiture laws a few years ago, and the Supreme Court rendered several hopeful decisions. But improvement was short-lived.

Federal, state and local governments are again expanding confiscation with little concern for justice. The latest targets: doctors who resist government-controlled medicine . . . Businesses that employ illegal aliens (who sew most clothing and harvest many crops) . . . and gun owners.

Anything you own now can be seized at any time. Every week over 5000 innocent Americans like you now lose their cars, bank accounts, homes or businesses, without ever being charged with a crime.

What can you do to protect yourself? Read books like Brenda Grantland's "Your House Is Under Arrest" (available from ISIL). Demand of your representatives why they're voting for these outrageous laws. Speak out on talk radio, through letters, newspaper editorials, and Internet forums. Contribute to groups that are fighting police confiscation, like ISIL and FEAR.

The fight against civil asset forfeiture is a battle for your freedom and property. If confiscation isn't stopped, liberty and justice will soon be fading memories. Help stop the looting of America now, before it's too late. (you can e-mail these people and find out what you can do to stop this injustice by clicking here or copying the link location and pasting it into your e-mail "send to" section).

****************************************

Jarret B. Wollstein is a member of ISIL's Board of Directors and a founder of the original Society for Individual Liberty.

Forfeiture Endangers American Rights (FEAR)
P. O. Box 33985
Washington, DC 20033-3985 USA
tel.: (888) FEAR-001 (332-7001)
e-mail: swftl@aol.com
website: www.fear.org

This pamphlet was originally published in 1993 and revised in May 1997 and again in January 1998. It is part of ISIL's educational pamphlet series. Click here for the full index of pamphlets online.

All ISIL educational pamphlets are available in hard copy for 5¢ each. Click here for the ISIL Store.

As a society of people who SHOULD believe in the rights the Constitution gives us, this should not only SHOCK you, but flat out OUTRAGE you! We work HARD for our meager possessions, and for the government to be able to take everything we work so hard for, even if we are found NOT GUILTY!!!! they are still able to keep our treasured possessions!!!! HOW is this fair? if THIS doesn't get the people awake enough to the injustice the American Government is imposing on it's people, and doesn't make your blood BOIL at the thought of how they are able to get away with this severe violation or our constitutional rights, then nothing will!

Hearing this seriously makes me tempted to start taking applications for the new American revolution!!! for REAL! I mean, It amazes me how no one has bothered to stand up to the government with all the heinous things they are doing to it's people! WHEN will it be time to stand up and say STOP! WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH! Well...I HAVE had enough! and for anyone else who feels the same feel free to e-mail me directly to hear what I plan to DO about it.

Funny little storys about how fights start between couples.

2009-05-25T09:22:00.000-07:00

I got these storys while using a nifty little site called stumble upon. GREAT way to surf the net and stay entertained for hours.

My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ”Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And then the fight started….

=======================================================================================
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And that’s how the fight started…
=====================================================================================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…
=====================================================================================
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”"

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…
======================================================================================
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…

People and their weird behavior on the net.

2009-05-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

you ever run into those people that start of IMing you with a simple Hi or Hello, and then seconds later they Buzz you like they're in NY and the light suddenly turns green. lol Those Pesky impatient and as you later find out...Usually hot headded people who are quick to anger? What is WITH these people?

I mean...I'm over at the kitchen counter...making my morning coffee and I here the familiar chime of a message on my yahoo messenger (to which my ping box can be found here if you want to contact me) and not 3 seconds after I hear the familiar "BUZZ" sound of the "Pay attention!" button. Now...for those of you unfamiliar with yahoo (though I find that hard to believe in this day and age) this feature tends to REALLY annoy those who it is used upon.

ANYWAY....I guess the point I'm trying to make here is when did we become such an impatient and self centered society? I mean...this guy obviously didn't stop to consider I may be away from my desk for anything. I mean...people need to eat, pee, make coffee, what ever...and usually it is customary to wait at least a FEW minutes before pulling the, "Hurry up and talk to me. I'm a desperate pathetic man with no life. and how dare YOU have one!" routine on me. lol anyway....THAT is my rant for the day.

Moral to the post..."Patience is a virtue...and impatience only makes you look desperate."

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Some odd comparisons on Google trends

2009-05-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

This was a search for Sex and condoms, to compare the two. Apparently EVERYONE wants sex, but no one thinks about the consequences. No one uses protection...no WONDER why AIDS is spreading so rapidly. and 1 out of every 4 people you meat has an STD.

sex condoms

And MySpace has become more popular than God. HAHA!

MySpace God

Even the iphone is more popular than God. For all the preaching people do about how GREAT they think their god is, and how they are supposedly supposed to put NOTHING before him...Kinda makes you think.

iphone God

Strange little fact I ran across

2009-05-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water

each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of

Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poo.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum,

whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a

purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

WATER = Poo

WINE = HEALTH

Ergo: It is better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water

and be full of crap.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THINK before you post

2009-04-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ok...Now all these pics I am about to post here were found on a section of a networking site that is based on trying to get people interested in each other. It's called "Meet Me" Now...you would THINK that people who post pictures for this little app. would post something that would actually ATTRACT someone. But as you will see...some people just don't have a CLUE when it comes to what people really WANT to see.

Ok...these pics, although they seem cool and you THINK they are trying to show people you have lots of cool friends, in reality it makes it difficult to tell WHO you actually are. Keep in mind folks...this "meet me" app has no captions to help a person out to KNOW which one you are. SO....pictures like these are useless and will more often then not, produce NO results. like...take the first picture for example, he could be one of the two on the right...possibly...but then again he COULD be the dork on the left too. Most people like to avoid making fools of themselves, so they would just click "NO' I do not want to meet you. and this second one above...now they all look like normal guys except that guy on the right. The woman who would fit with him would have to be an amazon woman or something. Now...again, there are no captions to let us know who is who. I DID run across ONE group photo that actually WORKED to let the viewers KNOW which one the picture is supposed to be of, and folks....if THIS:

is the only way you can let us know who you are....you might as well just give up and shut your computer off....for real.

Ok....on to our second type of picture commonly found on the net. Now below we see a guy...who looks like he MIGHT be possibly attractive, but the image is all blurred out. For all we know he could be covered in pock marks or something. Most people would skip right over this image because it says, "I'm too ugly to put a clear image of myself in public."

ok...the next type of pictures are what I call "The Idiot Pictures" The ones that show a person making a general ass out of themselves or end up portraying themselves as your average jerk, freak, psycho, or are just plain creepy. Folks...if you have a picture like this posted on your profile...TRUST ME! Do us BOTH a favor and for the love of God take it off! It is only serving to embarrass YOU, and makes everyone else think you are an IDIOT! Seriously...THINK before you post crap like this!

OK...Any SANE person is not going to hang out with a guy who dresses like this. I mean, SHOOT! the LEAST he could have done was shave the beard before trying to dress like a woman. And seriously folks....who does he think he is fooling?

Ok...and THIS guy...There are so many things wrong with this photo, I truly don't know where to begin. For now, let's ignore the fact it is yet another blurry image...the whole naked guitar pose? not something I would want my kid to see...that is for sure...I'll probably have nightmares about this one later. my GOD! Honestly though....this is on an easily accessible section of the networking site where any kid could just click yes or no then be directed to THIS frightening image. I can just imagine the horror if this guy's kid found this pic. I know if it was MY father acting like this, I would never want to show my face in public again.

ok...and THIS one...just SCREAMS I'm a lush who can't hold my liquor. Passed out on the couch with a bottle of booze...now...it's OBVIOUS the picture is posed because the bottle is upside down and backwards to the way it should be if this guy were actually drinking it, BUT, it was obviously put on his profile WILLINGLY. And this is just further proof that people are IDIOTS.

OK, the next kind of picture I will be talking about is the just plain creepy, turn a person completely off kind of picture. The ones that make the viewer go WTF! and make us think you are some kind of serial killer.

ok...this one does not necessarily make him look like a serial killer, BUT, he DOES look like he either had WAY too much to drink the night before, or he is as HIGH as a kite, either way...not a very attractive image to post on a profile. ESPECIALLY not one advertising to "hook up", or someone who is "Looking for a long term relationshionship".

Ok...Here we have probably one of the creepiest types of photos out there. I realize you think the eyes are the windows of the soul people, but Who wants to see a person's eyes staring at them through a big ol' square? We want to see the rest of you too. Honestly this makes me think you are so ugly your only redeeming quality is your eyes. Maybe you are like 600 lbs and can barely get out of your own way? Or you have no teeth. Maybe you are horribly disfigured? Either way...this kind of image usually gets a big fat NO.

Ok...For future reference...leave the "welcome home from prison" photos OFF the profile. Seriously folks this guy looks like he just got out of the slammer. What woman in their right mind would want to date a guy like this? oh...sure he's attractive...in that... "I'm a bad ass and beat women in my spare time, and murder puppies for fun." kind of way, but seriously...would YOU date this guy?

and THIS guy HERE looks like he could be the bitch for the guy above. I really don't know what it is about this picture that bothers me so much. maybe it's the guy's age and hairstyle, maybe it's how he looks like he is going through a mid life crisis, or maybe it's because he has his head cocked in a way that makes him look entirely too effeminate, or maybe it's the porno mush dash. Chances are it's all of the above. But either way, this photo just comes across as way too freakin creepy for my taste.

Ok...the next two photos are what I like to call the "Player Pics". These are pictures that make the person look like a "ladies man" or a "pimp" "thug" or what ever image they are trying WAY to hard to portray. In the end folks...all you end up doing is making yourself look stupid.
Like THIS guy for instance. He is OBVIOUSLY trying WAY too hard to look like a pimp. And maybe he really IS a pimp. Either way...is it really a bright idea to announce to the world you are in the illegal trade of dealing in prostitution? Not to mention, it is probably not the BEST approach to try and get a date. Honestly, the thought of being pimped out does not appeal to most women unless they ARE a prostitute.

And this guy here...trying WAY too hard to look like a lady's man, but all it really does is say, "I'm trying way to hard to overcompensate." I mean really...a girl on each arm fellas? that is generally a major turn off for most women.

Anyway....that said...HOPEFULLY the people who read this will be a bit more careful about what they post on their profiles from now on. Because you never know...you just may see YOUR picture posted up here some day, for all the world to see and make fun of. So BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST!

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more social retards on the net

2009-02-25T23:42:00.000-08:00

cool cool: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
cool cool: how are you "
BUZZ!!!
ok, at this point, I'm already annoyed. I HATE when people buzz me.
cool cool: its long to see u online
Raven: sorry, I don't remember you
cool cool: i m nick
Raven: I don't remember a nick
cool cool: i cuffed you last time in a role play
This is where the guy screws up, not to mention comes across like some kind of serial killer or something.
cool cool: i told you i like to cuffed girls
cool cool: rember now ?
Raven: LMAO! not fuckin LIKELY! I did the little ROFL smiley here because this was just so absurd.
Raven: I don't roll play
Raven: try again loser
cool cool: yes u told me that
Raven: I never said anything of the sort
cool cool: well try a role play baby
Raven: hell no
cool cool: why not ?
Raven: cuz I'm not a freak
cool cool: ever u got tied in ur life ?
cool cool: there ?
Raven: that is none of your business
cool cool: just say yes or no ?
Raven: I will say it is none of your business.
cool cool: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
cool cool: there?
BUZZ!!!
Raven: yes. but I'm not going to talk if you keep up with this bullshit.
cool cool: come on
Raven: good bye
cool cool: have u seen this pic ?????//
Raven: I don't care about your pic
Raven: you are an idiot
cool cool: really u love me ?
Raven: I don't talk to people who are socially inept.
Raven: and you definately fit into that category.
Raven: so good bye
cool cool: see its just i told what i like
Raven: yea, well, not everyone needs to know you're a sexual FREAK.
Raven: in fact a lot of us don't appreciate some stranger comming right out and saying something like that.
Raven: it's socially inappropriate
Raven: you didn't have many friends when you were young, did you?
cool cool: i do what lady wants only
Raven: well, ladys.....REAL ladys do not want a guy coming on to her like a drunkin prom date.
Raven: they want a gentleman
Raven: not a freak
cool cool: they wants gentle man & his control also
Raven: no. no man will EVER controll me.
Raven: not unless he wants to lose his dick.
Raven: I'll cut the fucker off
cool cool: he can if just i cuffed ur hands behind
Raven: you would never get close enough to me to cuff me. I'd kill you first.
cool cool: u just cant do that
Raven: I was trained in self defense and hand to hand combat.
Raven: don't tell me I can't do it.
Raven: I'm quite capable.
cool cool: with steel cuffs ur nothing
Raven: now, either forget about this stupid hand cuff bullshit or find someone else to talk to.
Raven: yea...well....cuffs or gun. which do you think would win. you have to get close enough to me to cuff me.
cool cool: ok give me any id of ur friend
Raven: I don't have any female friends.
Raven: sorry(like I would EVER give any of my friend's information to ANYONE, never mind THIS idiot. HAHA!)
cool cool: come on be friend
cool cool: & give me
Raven: gonna have to do this crap on your own.
Raven: I don't have any fucking female friends
Raven: so lay off!
cool cool: give me
Raven: I can't give you what I don't fucking HAVE
Raven: so lay the FUCK OFF!!!!
cool cool: slave
Raven: I am slave to NO ONE!
cool cool: ok wants to be my friend ?
Raven: are you fucking serious?
cool cool: yes
cool cool: i like you
Raven: did you ride the little bus to school or something?
cool cool: ur a nice women
Raven: you must have the social understanding of a slug.
cool cool: yes i know every thing
cool cool: This attitued is here on net only
Raven: actually, no. if you said these things to me in person, I would probably rip your balls off and hand make you eat them.
Raven: or worse
Raven: when it comes to overly agressive men, I put them in their place real quick.
Raven: I kick their ass.
Raven: so unless you want to eat your own balls, I suggest you give up.
cool cool: you no here i find many lady wants me from that
Raven: so go find them and leave me alone then
cool cool: no i submit to you
cool cool: i cuffed my self
cool cool: down on my knees
Raven: I don't care what you do. just don't do it with ME.
cool cool: queen use me
Raven: I have no patience for this shit
cool cool: be my friend ?
Raven: I only associate with gentlemen. and YOU are NOT a gentleman.
Raven: so good BYE
cool cool: i m a gentlemen
Raven: BULLSHIT!
cool cool: really
Raven: if you are a gentleman, than brittney spears is a virgin!
cool cool: hahaha yes u rite
cool cool: pls understand me
Raven: I'm not a blonde ya know. I know a gentleman when I see one, and YOU are NOT it.
Raven: I have no desire to try and understand you
cool cool: do u trust god ?
Raven: you are a social retard
Raven: no
Raven: I'm not a christian
cool cool: then ?
Raven: I'm not going to discuss religion with you
cool cool: why not
Raven: because I have no need nor want to
cool cool: come on be friend
Raven: why on EARTH should I be a friend to someone who has the social eptitude of a 2 year old?
cool cool: come on
Raven: maybe if you work on your approach and don't come on like a serial killer and you might have better luck with the next chic. but you picked the wrong woman to pull this BS on.
he didn't respond after that last comment. I found it hard to believe the guy didn't give up. He was relentless. guys....if you are reading this...a little mental note...this is NOT the way to approach a woman if you don't want to get arrested.

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finny little excerpt from Craig's List

2009-02-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

More Stupid people on the internet

2009-02-14T13:23:00.000-08:00

Every once and a while, I run across some weird profiles on the net and feel the need to say something about these idiots. First up are those people who post pictures of their children up in place of where THEIR picture should be. Think for a second...if you don't want to put YOUR picture up there, what makes you think your CHILD wants their picture on your profile? Besides, with the fact that nearly EVRYONE is on the internet now a days, that also means every PERVERT is on there as well. In fact, I have pointed out many of them here on my blog. Now to show you what I mean, take a look at this profile on the site Tagged:
Damion D
37, Male, Desoto, TX
“mary_champag@yahoo.com”

This person is even stupid enough to leave their e-mail in public view. I wonder how many perverted pedophiles are home right now jackin off to this picture of one ignorant parent's poor child. People just don't stop and think before they do stuff like this.

Now this NEXT profile just oozes ignorance. This next guy posts loads of xxx rated images on his profile yet makes it public for literally ANYONE to view. That means your little girl or little boy sitting at home cruising around their favorite networking site could stumble across this profile quite easily. To show you exactly what I am talking about, I will post the link to his profile here. but if you have small children around, I would suggest sidetracking them first before opening this link. http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5391664010

Now I seem to be having a few difficulties in adding pictures here, but I guess I will just have to add links to these pics I am talking about. But one more thing I feel must be said, if you are a black person, you should really be sure to take your pictures in a well lighted area. Now, don't take me wrong here. I'm not trying to insult black people or anything like that. But when you are black, and you take a picture in a dark room, no one can see what you look like cuz you blend in with the shaddows, so if you INSIST on taking your pictures in a dark room, at least smile so we can see you instead of looking like THIS guy: http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=17331464

ok, now most of the links I have pointed out here are of your average middle class folk, but the rich are not immune to lapses of ignorance. Now....If you are rich....have you ever thought about the kind of person you are going to attract if you broadcast this fact? If you have a picture of yourself looking all designer label standing in front og your brand new mercedes, what kind of person do you REALLY think you are going to attract? The only people who will end up responding to this kind of approach are the gold digging hussies, or the guys looking for a sugar momma. to show you an example of what I mean, just take a look at THIS guy here: http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=1599283884. As you see, rich people can be stupid too.

well, this concludes my little rant about stupid people on the internet...at least untill the next time I run across some numbskull to make fun of. Hope you were entertained a little, and maybe you took some of this information to heart as well. Because despite my humorous approach to all this, it is a serious subject. You must be careful about the immage you present to the world, and what information you give to people.

Lazy ass people in Chat rooms

2009-01-14T10:26:00.001-08:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm in a chat room and someone asks me what my flippin ASL is. I mean...WTF! Have people become too lazy to click on a view profile link before asking stupid questions like that? I mean how hard is it really to view someone's profile before acting like a lazy moron? I don't know how many times I have been IMed with this annoying little message, and each time I reply the same way..."you want to know, view my profile...it's there so people will stop asking me stupid questions like ASL." HAHA! yea...so I'm a bit of a smart ass....but HEY...wouldn't YOU be? I mean really....it's just common sense folks! If you take the time to view someone's profile, it shows that you really ARE interested in them and you will get a lot farther when you show a little initiative.

And what happens if they don't have a profile filled out? Well....THEN ask asl...maybe if they get enough annoying asl messages they might get off THEIR lazy ass and fill out their profile. HAHA! Anyway, I just felt the need to rant about that for a while.

OMG! TOO FUNNY Craig's List Posting

2009-01-07T11:57:00.000-08:00

This was hysterical, I was browsing the help wanted section of CL just now, and came across an add that made me laugh out loud. Well....I'll let you all see for yourself. lol

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/trd/978702014.html (here is the link if you want to see the actual add)

But here is the add, copied and pasted for those too lazy to click the link. lol

tree climbers (mesquite)

Reply to: job-978702014@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2009-01-03, 12:01PM CST

must provide proper identification social security and drivers license, must have 2yrs experience pruning, removing ,and climbing trees , please do not call me and tell me you have experience when you were 10 yrs old climbing trees . thank you, call Eric 972-375-2447

Location: mesquite
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 978702014

HAHA! score 1 for my hometown for stupidity...and people wonder why I moved to Texas. HEHE!

2009-01-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

I found this while cruising the odd news clips on the net. And this just made me laugh at my hometown folks of the NH seacoast.

Jeremy Aron, 33, was arrested for DUI on Thanksgiving night in Portsmouth, N.H., when an off-duty police officer spotted him driving down Lafayette Road with a fire hydrant stuck to his bumper. [Portsmouth Herald, 11-28-08]

Staff infection!!!I could DIE from this?

2009-01-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

Ok...so the other day I noticed this bump on my left calf that was rather painful to the touch. Thinking nothing of it at first because it just looked like a fairly large pimple which I sometimes get from in grown hairs from shaving and such, I just brushed it off. (stupid me) Well...the next day it had become this angry deep red color and spread over my whole calf area and had this swollen dark spot in the middle that looked like a blood blister. Curious abot what it could be, and wanting to know what the hell was in my leg, I squeezed it...and for those of you with a weak stomache you might want to skip this part...But it oozed this mixture of what I can only describe as puss and what looked frighteningly like liquified flesh.

At first I thought it was a brown recluse bite or something. Because spider venom will liquify flesh like that, but the doctors told me it was a staff infection....now I looked up the staff infection on the net and you wouldn't BELIEVE the horror stories I have seen about this horrible and sometimes treatment resistant strain of bacteria. I will post a few pictures of some of these cases here so you can see what I mean. Holy COW! I'm lucky to be alive man.

This is one of the more severe cases that a famous basketball player ended up with. as you can see it ate right through his flesh and left him with a couple of big gaping holes in it's wake. Something I am hopeing like HELL doesn't happen to me, because I imagine it would be awfully hard to walk with a hole like THAT in my calf. OUCH!
This is more like what mine looks like right now. And this is how it started out. the picture on the left is what it looked like when I noticed it. looks just like an ingrown hair pimple or something. Next thing I know a day later it turns into this thing on the right here and I can barley walk. The picture on the right though, doesn't show the dark bruise like color that appeared around the wound. Here it just shows a bit of inflammation, but I'm tellin' ya folks, if you ever get anything like this, Seek medical attention immediately! This is a very serious infection that apparently has been known to KILL people. So Just a bit of a warning to all you. This has been an ever growing problem and the risks of catching a staff infection have been growing expidentially. There have been schools that were shut down because of it recently. A 13 year old girl died from a rather rampent form of it that spread literally overnight to her internal organs and she died in her sleep of massive internal organ failure caused by the Staphylococcus aureus bacteria.

So if you EVER have anything like this appear ANYWHERE on your body, have it checked immediately, or you could be in for some serious problems.

For all of you wondering where I caught this nasty little bug, I was staying at the Budget Inn in Temple, Texas USA. So fair warning folks....Don't go there or you could leave with more than you arrived with.

2008-12-10T19:07:00.003-08:00

I thought this was kind of funny and decided to pass some of this along to you folks here. They are just little clips I have run across here and there. Thought you might enjoy them.

Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be canceled.

Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy.

In man's struggle against the world, bet on the world.

Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman

How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception. - Alfred de Musset

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat? What should I eat, someone else's cake instead? - George Carlin

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what is wrong with it.

We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Talent does what it can. Genius does what it must. I do what I get paid for.

I'm drunk...I'm armed...I'm off my meds. You had better make your message really, really sweet.

The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

Some people live life in the fast lane - I live in oncoming traffic.

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Rant: crabby people

2008-12-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

Every once and a while we run across certain kinds of people that just rub you the wrong way. Well...I recently had one of those experiences. I had this brilliant idea *rolls her eyes* to be a live in care taker for a disabled army vet here in FTW. TX. I had run into some difficult times and had to find a place to live quick or I would be in a fair amount of trouble. SO...I get this e-mail from a person who shall remain nameless to avoid any lawsuits here. He says "would u be interested in a live in position as a caregiver for a male paraligic in a wheelchair if so contact *insert name here* well..i thought, what better way to make a living. help give back to the community as well as make a paycheck while having my rent taken care of. We talked on the phone for a few hours. where he proceeded to tell me my duties would consist with helping him with "just every day living" well...he turned out to be an obsessive compulsive neat freak to an insane level. He had me wash down all his doors because he said they were dirty. (although I couldn't see the dirt...I washed them anyway) a couple days later I find him scrubbing the door. He said to me..."come here...I want you to look at something." as he gives me this look of disgust. "this is the difference of my idea of clean and your idea of clean." he says. I look at the door and realize he had scrubbed the paint right off the door. The guy was certifiably insane. I bit my tongue the whole time I was there. being belittled and talked down to the whole time. So a few days later I realize that it just isn't going to work out. Try as I might to get along with him. I would listen to his boring storys about poker or how he owned this business or that one. etc. pretending to give a crap just to try and get the guy to lighten up a bit, but nothing I did worked. I decided to put an add out on Craig's List and see if I could find someone who needed a roomate back in Dallas so I could get back home at least. well, I started talking to various people about various possibilities, but the next day I got violently ill. I was up all night running to the bathroom every 10 min. so by morning when it came time to get him out of bed, I was exhausted. I did what was expectd of me and more even. All I was supposed to do was get him up out of bed, help him get dressed, change his piss bag and make him breakfast to get him started for the day. I did that plus washed all his blinds in the kitchen. Finally...completely exhausted I fell asleep around 11pm or so. at about 2pm he comes into my room, wakes me up and says, "whatcha doin'?" I said "I was trying to sleep. Why? is there something you need?" and he says, "Yea, I need you to get on that damned computer and find some other place to go NOW! bewcause I'm not going to have you sleeping all day." I tried to explain to him that I was sick. and he said that because he is supposedly sick all the time and that he manages to get shit done, that I should do the same. First of all, he hadn't been "sick" the whole time I was there. anyway...besides that point...suffice to say I had to leave. Now I am currently living with a lady who was supposed to be his best friend. But even SHE can't stand the guy. You know a guy ain't right in the head if even his friends say he's a jerk. I found out that I am just one in a list of many people who he has run off for various reasons, always refusing to pay them for the work they did. Just like he did with me. Some day he is going to turn around looking for help from one of the many friends he has pushed away and alienated and there is going to be no one there. I almost feel bad for the guy. If he hadn't got the way he was because of his own stupidity, I probably WOULD feel bad for him. Because at least the attitude of "the world owes me" would at least be a LITTLE justified." but he has no excuse other than the simple fact that he is just a jerk. plain and simple. I find out he has been stalking me on the internet. trying to see what adds I'm placing to try and get his friend that I am living with to think I'm some kind of loser or something. the list can just go on and on about how screwed up in the head this guy is. and he actually had the gall to say I needed to get MY head on straight! HAHA!

since I have had a few days to put everything in perspective I have come to realize he is just a bitter old man who will never be happy with anything in his life because he is too busy chasing dust bunnies around his house and obsessing about the stupid shit that doesn't matter to ever take the time to be greatful for the life he DOES have. It in turn makes him miserable and he feels he has to take it out on the world. in a way you almost HAVE to feel sorry for a person like that. Crippled or not. because it is a very sad existance to put oneself in. But he will never have any real friends, because he drives them all away. No one is going to want to help him when he finds fault in everything they do for him.

Anyway, that is my rant for the day.

society...what has this world come to?

2008-10-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ok...I recently ran into a bit of trouble in my life that required me to try and find other living arrangements on a rather short notice. And well...since I don't know anyone here in TX, I had to do a bit of networking on the internet to try and find someone nice enough to let me stay with them. Well...Let's just say by the end of it I decided a safer bet would be to put an add out in the gay man section just because of the responses I was getting in the local networking room in TX. This is becoming a problem I've noticed. Every person who offered me a place to live expected me to basically be a live in whore in return for allowing me to stay there! There is something wrong with society when a decent, law abiding, moral woman can't find a safe place to stay without having to become a live in whore to get it. To give you an idea of some of the people I've had to deal with, and exactly what I'm talking about I have decided to punish those individuals by calling them out here on my blog! So here they are. All the Perverts of Texas!

hotneardall (10/3/2008 8:56:20 AM): do you have money to help with rent?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:57:26 AM): well, right now, no. I was living up in belton and had to hawk most my stuff just to get back here. I got here only 2 days ago.
hotneardall (10/3/2008 8:58:23 AM): that sux
hotneardall (10/3/2008 8:58:34 AM): so how would you pay for a place to stay?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:58:52 AM): I was living here before I moved up to belton, and the reason I had to move to belton was the same reason I have to leave now.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:59:01 AM): I am a construction worker by trade.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:59:08 AM): I can fix stuff around the house.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:59:19 AM): or I can do housework
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:59:25 AM): I'm a damned good cook.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:01:19 AM): I can fix about anything that needs fixing.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:01:42 AM): if it has anything to do with construction or home repair I can do it.
hotneardall (10/3/2008 9:02:06 AM): how good are you at plumbing?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:02:09 AM): so basically the person would be getting a live in handy person/maid for free.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:02:29 AM): I can do a little plumbing, how serious is the problem?hotneardall (10/3/2008 9:03:04 AM): is pretty big, but gets smaller at times as well....
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:03:24 AM): will you PLEASE get your mind out of the gutter.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:03:46 AM): fuckin nerds!
hotneardall (10/3/2008 9:03:55 AM): was hoping your mind liked playing in the gutter as well
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:04:51 AM): I'm not one for doing adult favors for rent.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:04:58 AM): so get that out of your mind.
hotneardall (10/3/2008 9:05:19 AM): that is a bummer
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:05:55 AM): no, I'm just not a slut, which means I can be trusted, unlike most women now-a-days.
hotneardall (10/3/2008 9:06:29 AM): I gotcha, but I got needs too....
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:07:16 AM): well, that's what you have a hand for.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:07:32 AM): if it gets real bad, go hire a prostitute.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:07:41 AM): I don't care what you do honestly
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:07:51 AM): but when it comes to me...I'm not a whore.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:07:57 AM): I don't play like that.
hotneardall (10/3/2008 9:08:37 AM): ok
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:11:44 AM): typical man though, finds out the chic he is talking to is not a slutt, and they just stop talking to her. seems all men want now-a-days is a cheap whore. Good luck trying to find a chic you can actually trust dude, cuz no one can trust a whore.
This was one of the milder ones believe it or not.

oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:22:08 AM): do you work?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:23:26 AM): well, considering I JUST moved back to dallas from belton like 2 days ago, no. I do not work just yet, but I have a few construction friends of mine in the area looking around for me since I'm in the trade.
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:23:45 AM): oh neat
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:24:33 AM): so would you mess around with a married man sweetie?Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:24:38 AM): nope
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:24:45 AM): awwww
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:25:58 AM): You wouldn't let me lick and suck the cum out of your're hot sweet pussy?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:26:17 AM): dude, don't go there.
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:26:34 AM): ok, i'm sorry
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:26:51 AM): didn't want to upset you
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:27:52 AM): want me to leave you alone?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:28:04 AM): yes please.
oakcliffmale (10/3/2008 8:28:28 AM): ok, I will honor you're wishes
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:28:33 AM): ty

Now keep in mind most of these men didn't even ask how OLD I was before pulling these stunts. If I were a total bitch I could have reported them for solicitation. and GOD FORBID if I had been a minor or something! They don't even stop to think long enough to consider that before they go asking a chic for sex. For all they know I could be some 14-15 year old.

now this next one appalled me. This is supposed to be an army guy out in iraq. Now I understand they probably haven't had a woman in a while, but this guy went a bit over the top here. So I felt I had to call him out on this

texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:52:57 AM): so what you up to today? what you do for a living?Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:53:32 AM): well, normally I'm a construction worker.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:53:38 AM): but currently out of work.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:54:04 AM): ok, so you single? kids?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:54:57 AM): no kids, but though I'm technically single, my heart belongs to someone.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:55:27 AM): ok
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:55:29 AM): so how tall are you?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:56:34 AM): I'm not really.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:56:37 AM): 5'
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:56:49 AM): ok, so are you big breasted?
ok, at this point it's obvious what is on his mind, but I figured I'd humor him a little
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:57:01 AM): no, I'm a construction worker. lol
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:57:12 AM): ok, are you trimmed or natural?
this got a little personal, and made me feel pretty uncomfortable, but at the time I thought..."well, he's in the army...he could probably use a little sex talk, I figure so long as he doesn't cross the line TOO far, I'll play along" although I didn't know what trimmed or natural ment at first. (guess I was having a blonde moment I dunno)
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:57:23 AM): I'm very slim and muscular.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:57:40 AM): nice
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:58:12 AM): so are you trimmed or natural?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:59:18 AM): I take care of myself.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 9:59:36 AM): ok well then answer the qeustion sweetie
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:00:37 AM): I just did. if you're smart, you would have figured that out.
at this point he offers me his webcam. now he is a nice looking man, don't get me wrong. But nice looking or not, there is a point where one has to say dude! you're a pervert! lol
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:01:02 AM): well if you take care of yourself that either means you shave or you trim
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:01:07 AM): doesnt answer specifically
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:02:15 AM): I shave. k?
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:02:25 AM): ok me 2
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:02:42 AM): so do you like anal or 3somes?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:02:51 AM): no
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:03:03 AM): ok do oyu like or love to suck cock?
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:03:42 AM): look, not to be rude here, but I'm looking for a place to stay right now, and I really don't have time for flirting or playing adult 20 questions.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:04:04 AM): what i am sorry if i was in the states you could come stay with me
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:04:16 AM): but your rent would be letting me fuck you and you suck my cock when i needed it
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:04:30 AM): I'm not a whore, sorry
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:04:31 AM): bye
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:04:47 AM): wasnt sayin you were a whore, i am saying it would be fun and youd like it
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:05:23 AM): no I wouldn't like it because I would end up feeling like a whore if I did something like that, so stop assuming you know what I like, you dojn't even know me. good bye
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:05:53 AM): i didnt mean youd like the fucking youd end up like me and wed be fucking
awfully presumptuous if the guy I think
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:06:00 AM): but hey i am sorry, if you feel that way
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:06:08 AM): awfully full of yourself aren't ya?
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:06:46 AM): umm why not, do you want a guy that aint confident and lets you wlak all over him and get pushed around by other guys, or do you want a man that takes charge and doesnt take shit from anyone
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:08:04 AM): I want a man who has morals, who is kind hearted and gentle. one who can talk to me about anything and likes to be romantic from time to time. one who doesn't come on like a drunken prom date would be nice.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:08:45 AM): ok i am sure that what every women wants, and i am somewhat to that degree you are looking for but better
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:09:08 AM): better how?
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:09:29 AM): lets see i am adventrous spontaneuous and like to go out dancing and havea good time
Yea...along with every other dick in town too. nothing really original here.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:09:34 AM): but i am also a freak
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:09:55 AM): well, I'm not a freak. I'm just an old fashoned country gal.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:10:14 AM): well i am a redneck, but i have a huge sex drive
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:11:21 AM): I don't have but an average sex drive. it doesn't rule my life.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:11:41 AM): sex dont rule mine, its just i like fucking
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:12:47 AM): I don't fuck, I make love.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:12:57 AM): ok lol thats cutre
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:14:50 AM): wasn't trying to be cute.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:14:55 AM): that is the way I am.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:15:01 AM): I don't have sex unless I'm in love.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:15:15 AM): and when I'm in love sex is not fucking, it is making love.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:15:20 AM): simple.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:16:46 AM): wow
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:16:50 AM): what can I say. I'm picky about who I am with.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:18:28 AM): if they can't prove to me they are worth my time I don't bother with them. because when I'm with a guy, I plan on being with them for the long haul.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:18:42 AM): ok
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:19:43 AM): something tells me though, you're just in it for the pussy like most men.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:19:53 AM): so we probably wouldn't be a very good match.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:20:03 AM): umm no i just have standards and its hard to find a women to meet them
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:20:51 AM): not really by the sound of things, I mean with the kind of questions you have asked me so far, all you would have to do is stand on a jerzy street corner. you could find loads of them.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:21:23 AM): nooo not at all
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:21:50 AM): really, then what kind of gal are you looking for then?Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:21:56 AM): do tell.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:22:57 AM): i like a sophsticated women, lmao! what kind of sophisticated woman would fall for THIS load of bullshit? that has a career goals, knows what she wants in life, financially secure, and is open in the bedroom to new things
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:23:44 AM): well...I'm all but the last 2.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:23:49 AM): sorry
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:23:58 AM): its ok
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:24:31 AM): I can't claim financial security. and I'm pretty tame in the bedroom.
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:25:26 AM): well the finacial part i could deal with but being tame i couldnt
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:27:08 AM): well, guess you're sol here then. sorry actually, I wasn't sorry at all. I was relieved I was finally getting rid of this loser.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 10:27:11 AM): later
texasarmystud (10/3/2008 10:27:18 AM): later

this next one was the worst
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:31:39 AM): whats wrong sweetie
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:32:01 AM): If I don't find a place to stay by the end of the day, I'm going to be homeless.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:33:05 AM): thats bad
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:33:47 AM): yea. I'm aware, thanks.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:34:09 AM): what do u look like
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:34:19 AM): I have a pic on my profile
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:35:09 AM): wow u are a hot
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:35:48 AM): u have a wild kinky look to u... very nice
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:36:15 AM): well, I'm not wild or kinky
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:36:33 AM): do u love hot steamy sex
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:37:27 AM): dude, I don't have time for this crap.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:37:30 AM): later
txkinkyone(10/3/2008 8:37:59 AM): just wanta to know if u wanted a sugar daddy today.. afternoon delight
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 8:38:08 AM): I'm all set
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:38:45 AM): white .. 6'3 215 very hansome.. brn /hzl.. smooth.. txkinkyone (10/3/2008 8:39:47 AM): u like my stats
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:17:01 AM): I guess.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:17:34 AM): so u off today or working
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:20:09 AM): well, I don't have a job yet. I only just got back to dallas from belton 2 days ago.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:20:33 AM): and with lack of ID I have to limit my search to under the table jobs.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:20:44 AM): anyway. brb. I need a smoke.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:20:53 AM): kool
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:20:59 AM): me too
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:30:47 AM): k. back
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:30:59 AM): cool
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:31:10 AM): so what part of dallas u in know
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:31:48 AM): farmer's branch
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:31:57 AM): cool
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:32:09 AM): lets have some fun today
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:32:37 AM): I don't have time for fun, sorry
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:32:58 AM): I have to find a place to live or I'm going to be homeless.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:37:37 AM): lets have so fun
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:37:51 AM): dude, I just told you I don't have time for fun right now.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:38:15 AM): if I don't find a place by 8pm tonight, I'm going to be homeless, I can't be gallivanting around the town with men I barely know.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:43:42 AM): i would pay to be with u today
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:43:58 AM): I'm not a whore, sorry
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:44:09 AM): i didnt say that
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:45:00 AM): dude, you just said you would pay to be with me, if that isn't solicitation, I don't know what is.
txkinkyone (10/3/2008 9:45:59 AM): just tryin to help u get a place
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:46:17 AM): yea, well, I don't want a place where I have to whore myself out to live there.
Lisa currie (10/3/2008 9:46:27 AM): sorry, would rather live in a dumpster.
this is for real the way I feel about this crap, I mean what kind of trashy, good for nothing, hussy would actually respond positively to this insane BS? Now, I could sit here and post a ton more of responses I have received from others just like this, But I don't want to make this post too long. Suffice to say there are more men out there like THIS than there are men who actually genuinely care about the situation I am in. Most of them just see it as an opportunity to get their you know whats wet. It's appalling, and I suppose if I REALLY wanted to mess with them I could report them to the internet crimes commission for solicitation of prostitution. But anyway, here you have it folks, the worst part of degraded society. We really all have to take a look at how we behave. would you want some guy talking this way to your mother? or your sister? how about your little girl? because NONE of these guys asked me how old I was. so for all they know...they could be talking to someone's 12 year old daughter. Think about it folks.

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Weird looking people on networking sites

2008-09-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

ok...Every now and then I run into some of the weirdest looking people that claim to want to "meet me" on various networking sites, and for privacy reasons I will not reveal the names of these people, but I feel I MUST share some of the goofy ass pictures that they actually post on these sites. I can't help but laugh at some of these guys.

ok...first up is THIS weirdo (above). This guy is all forehead. It looks like you could park a semi on that thing. For REAL! If I were this guy I would have grown my hair out long just to cover that sucker UP! I mean HOLY CRAP!

And this freak looks like he just got out of the slammer. I mean, if this guy doesn't have ex-convict written all over his face, I don't know WHO does. HAHAHA!

And THIS guy HERE. WTF was he THINKING???? Who in their right mind wants to see old people ass? This crap made me want to puke! What kind of dude says to himself, "I think I'm going to put my old, wrinkled, flat ass on the net and score a hot chic?" and what worries me is what kind of chic actually RESPONDS to that crap? it got me wondering....so....

I'm thinking it would probably be someone like THIS! Bwahahaha! *rolling on the floor laughing her butt off*

I do find people so amusing. I mean only on the Internet can you find the weirdest, sickest people on earth. I only had to search "women" for like 30 seconds to come up with THIS little beauty. Although it's painfully obvious this is NOT a woman. HAHAHA! I don't think there is a real woman ALIVE with this bad of taste in clothes. and it looks like a clown for Christ sake! I bet him and flat ass up there would make a wonderful pair, don't ya think? hehehe!

and THIS guy HERE this is PAINFULLY obvious where this little gem came from. It's sad that this guy actually thinks a mug shot would turn a lady on. I mean...how would he go about seducing a lady? "Hi, my name is Jim Bob! and this here is a picture taken right after I held up that liquor store at the corner of 9th and Broadway. Yea, those were the days... boy, I'd love for you to come along some time, we could meet each other over a nice rape and mugging, what do ya say?" HAHAHAHA!

here's HIS next date!

YES, I actually found this ummm....person on the women's section...though I'm not sure WHAT it is really. It barely even looks human never mind female. I wonder what makes a chic say to herself, "I look like hammered shit, I just woke up and have the world's worst case of bedhead, I bet this would make a great picture to get a date!" HAHAHA!

and this guy here either took WAY too much speed, got hold of some bad acid or is in the process of trying to pass the worlds biggest gall stone. I haven't figured out which, but this guy just isn't all there. HAHAHA!

Anyway...I hope you got a few laughs out of my little blog today. I felt I just HAD to share this with my readers out there. If you have any funny people pics, do feel free to pass them along. I'm sure I can find some way to make a funny blog about it here.

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morons on tagged

2008-08-28T11:35:00.001-07:00

ok...some guys really don't think before they post stuff...like THIS guy for instance...

This is what it stated under his picture...Did You Earn At Least $250K Last Year? Why Not? Visit . . . http://www.7DigitsNow.com

ok...FIRST of all, what about this pic would make ANYONE believe THIS guy ever made 250k last year? HAHAHA! he has an OLD monitor, and his house is a mess, and he looks like he hasn't left his computer desk in YEARS! This guy is CERTAINLY no advertising genius. lol

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people can suprise you

2008-08-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

I got an e-mail today that rather surprised me. It was from one of my "admirers" on a particular networking site I use. Now the profile I put up there is NOT in any way x-rated, or in any way offensive UNLESS you are one of those Internet perverts I talked about earlier here in my little rants.

This guy though, I must say was the most eloquent response I have ever received here on the net. I was almost tempted to respond to him. But since I am not looking for the sort of thing he is proposing, I opted not to. However...maybe someone out there will read this little blurb I have here, and feel that is what THEY want. So to help this poor poet in the making, I decided to post his message to me up here, and see what happens.

here goes...

Amid the gloom and travail of existence suddenly to behold a beautiful being; and as instantaneously to feel an overwhelming conviction, that with that fair form, our destinies must be entwined, this is love,
Hugs are a means of transferring energy to another person who is dear
to you. This will replenish depleted energy at any time particularly
when a dear person is sick,I just want to hug you, but your are 480 some miles away, what I wouldn't do for a hug,Hugging is the ideal gift. Great for any occasion, fun to give and
receive, shows you care, comes with its own wrapping and, of course, is
fully returnable. Hugging is practically perfect. No batteries to wear
out, inflation-proof, nonfattening, no monthly payments, theft-proof
and nontaxable,Sometimes it's better to put love into hugs than to put it into words,all A hug overcomes all boundaries. It speaks words within the mind that cannot be spoken,A silent hug means a thousands words to the unhappy heart,Your hugs and kisses are like the stars that light up my life when things get dark,I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go,My favorite place to be is inside of your hugs where it's warm and loving,If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever,,I am scared that I'm always going to be some body's friend or sister or confidant, but never quite some body's everything." am ALADE from LAGOS/30/single/male / am sincerely honest and love caring person here add me please to talk better plz i will be happy to hear from you soon and email me

Keep in mind however, this was the first time this particular gentleman has ever contacted me. His words seem to convey otherwise, but I assure you, this was a first time response from this man. I can honestly say he isn't afraid to say what is (maybe) in his heart. (though I think he may be speaking from a slightly different part of his body. HAHAHA!) Anyway...he does seem to have an interesting personality though, I will give him credit for that. If I were able to date right now, I probably would have considered meeting him at least. Anyway, if anyone out there would like his contact info, feel free to ask. Just shoot me an e-mail.

Great tips to save money on gas

2008-08-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

In today's day and age with the gas prices as insanely high as they are, we are all guilty of trying to do what we can to survive and save a little moolah when it comes to filling up at the gas pumps. Well...I stumbled across some VERY good advice for just this sort of thing the other day, and felt the need to share this with my fellow readers. so here it goes. Hope you find it useful.

for those of you wondering where I got the information, I found it in one of the most unlikely places on the net. lol an adult humor site called That's Phucked (http://www.thatsphucked.com/) anyway....here is the advice:

This is an account of supposedly someone in the know who has worked in the gasoline industry for the past 31 years. Here are some tips to help you save money on gas...

Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground.The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline, when it gets warmer gasoline expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role.
A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.

When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some other liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less worth for your money.
One of the most important tips is to fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL or HALF EMPTY. The reason for this is, the more gas you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount.

Another reminder, if there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO NOT fill up--most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom. Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.

Internet Perverts

2008-08-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

ok...I feel I really need to say this. There are guys (and I'm sure some women out there too) who seem to have the social etiquette of a gnat. I was chatting on meebo today and not just once but on 4 separate occasions got a very similar IM from, believe it or not...DIFFERENT men. And each one of them seemed to have the same PATHETICALLY DESPERATE approach. They would say "hi...my name is so in so" I would respond in kind with my name, and they would just automatically come out with..."do you want to have sex with me?" lol I just had to laugh the first time it happened, but after the second, third and even FOURTH time it began to get VERY old.

If you are one of these guys that uses this approach, do yourself a favor. STOP! It makes you look pathetically desperate! Not only that, but the only kind of woman you will get that way is some nasty grotesquely obese woman with one of those fat aprons (that nasty huge chunk of fat that obscures the gender) who has like 12 kids and NO self esteem what so ever! And THAT'S only if you're lucky! If you're not, you'll end up with some nasty used up old street whore from the 60's or something Half rotted away from some nasty incurable STD. I mean really people! GET A LIFE!

I'm sure men have similar issues. I was talking to one of my male buddies today and he was commenting about how often he would get ims from women asking him to come view their cams within the first 3 lines of text.

I WISH this was the only thing I have to worry about, but instead I get all the sex crazed lunatics. lol

Now...I don't use any sexually explicit pictures on the net anywhere. In fact none of them exist anywhere. Even when I was married I never took pictures of that nature, so I have to ask myself...WHY do these men continue to make these sexually graphic comments to me? I have never hinted on any of my profiles anywhere on the net that I am looking for sex, so what makes the guy think he would get anywhere with that approach? It genuinely baffles me. If anyone out there has had similar problems, feel free to comment here. I would love to hear your opinions on the subject.

In fact I have decided to start a little project here...for those of you out there reading this that would like to help, by all means share your storys. I am going to start a little thing I like to call the wall of shame and post conversations here from men AND women that act in a very unbecoming manner. If you have had a conversation like this, or the next time you end up having one, save the conversation to a text document and send it to me so I can post it here. I will keep names confidential if you request that it be kept as such. If you do not specify any confidentiality requests I will just post it the way it was sent.

I unfortunately did not save the conversations that sparked this blog, but this sort of thing happens to me so often that I'm sure within the week, I'll have a few people to put up on the "Wall Of Shame".

Private Parts!

2008-07-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

ok...I felt I just had to get this off my chest.

I was strolling around one of the many networking sites I use and decided to play one of the games they have there. it's a game that allows you to compare profile photos of all the people who use the site. Sometimes you run across some REALLY weird pictures like transvestites that are quite OBVIOUSLY men dressed like women. How can you tell? you ask...Well...from my experience...no woman on the PLANET has that lousy of fashion sense, and they ALL end up looking like clowns with the way they cake the makeup on in bright blues and intense reds. Guys...If you're going to dress like a woman, at least try to really look like one instead of a circus freak show. SHIT!

Also, I noticed a lot of people seem obsessed with showing off their private parts. Men seem to do this the most, but I have run across a lot of women who are just as bad it seems. I don't know what it is about people on the net these days, but it seems they think that in order to get attention they have to plaster their private parts all over the net! Honestly...the LAST thing I want to see is some guy's dick, or some chic's tits! And honestly, when you people put that shit up as your profile pic, any kid sitting there at his computer can see that crap! that is PORNOGRAPHY people and you are making it easily accessible to our children!!! STOP! If you REALLY feel the need to do something like that, set your profiles to PRIVATE and only let the people you know are old enough see those pictures. Put them in your private picture files! DAMN! Have a little decency!

And then we come to the people who have pictures that aren't even them. Like some guy put a pic of tom cruise as his profile pic, and you KNOW Tom cruise wouldn't be on some lame networking site. The guy is obviously a fake, and a poser. It makes people think you're either quazzi motto's twin and don't want to show your face because it looks like the south bound end of a north bound cow, or you are a lieing ass-hole. Either way, it makes you look stupid! Give it a rest and put your real pic up there for Christ's sake! I don't care if it's a picture of you picking your nose while eating a shit sandwich, at least it would be YOU and not some fake crap.

ok....that is my rant for the day. If anyone out there would like to add to this, feel free. I'm sure there are many other things about the networking sites like myspace, tagged and others that tend to come across as annoying or just plain stupid. Feel free to add to the list in a comment. I would love to hear what you think.

craig's list retard of the day!

2008-07-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

ok...this guy REALLY takes the cake of PATHETIC loser! I mean how hard up do you need to be to post an add like this one! *laughing my butt off right now*

Reply to: pers-739345849@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-07-01, 2:05PM CDT
Hello... if you are single and longing to have a baby, I would like to help... I am a very successful, healthy, 32 yr white male... would like to help you have a baby.
Location: Plano
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 739345849

Men and their penises, WTF!

2008-06-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

What is it with guys on the net wanting to show their manhood to EVERYONE!? I mean REALLY! I have signed up to a few various social networking sites, and though they ALL say in their rules and terms of Service that you are not supposed to put pornographic pictures on your profile, I see profiles loaded with images of men's penises. Why do they feel the need to show me their junk? I mean...the other day I was talking to this KID (he was only a year older than my SON for Christ's sake) and he kept sending me these PORNO images. one was of HIS DICK! I promptly deleted it and chastised him for his lude behavior, and tried unsuccessfully to explain to him why that isn't appropriate. But he just wouldn't get the picture. He kept asking me what I thought of his manhood instead. I'm not sure when my job became penis inspector, but it seems all the perverted men on the net seem to want my opinion on this matter. Personally guys, if you are that desperate to find out how your penis measures up, try finding a whore and asking her, I'm SURE she has a LOT more experience in this matter than I do. But for real people, we REALLY need to clean up the Internet. I mean...there are CHILDREN that use these sites and no one seems to even be interested in asking how old the person IS before flopping their dick out there in front of the cam. How do you know you're not talking to some 7 or 8 year old kid? and if you TRUELY don't care about that then you should be locked up in JAIL and have the key not only thrown away, but MELTED DOWN! Stop being so damned obsessed with sex! it's not the center of the universe ya know! I mean, yea, it's nice and all, but is it really worth being sent to jail for displaying pornographic material to children? Because eventually the authorities WILL crack down on this. It is a law in just about EVERY country I know that you can not display porn to anyone under the age of 18. That being said, you people who have pictures of yourselves or some porn star sprawled out naked and jerking off should really find a better G-rated pic to put up there, either that or make your profile ADULTS ONLY! so the person has to sign in to see that crap. because sometimes even us adults really DON'T want to see that shit! put it back in your pants (or your shirts if you happen to be the female variety of this perversion) I mean seriously! it's revolting! and it makes you look like a cheap whore!

depressing days

2008-06-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

Ok...well...I'm not sure if this classifies as a rant or not really...but Lately I have been finding my life very depressing. I'm not usually so depressed, but my situation doesn't help much I guess. I found myself in a really messed up situation. I am MADLY in love with this guy Joshua. He is the sweetest, kindest, gentlest, most wonderful man you would ever know. He is amazing in every sense of the word...So much so that I moved clear across the country to be with him. We had been talking for 7 years before this. and once we had a little adventure together along the way that brought us even closer. And we were together for 4 of the most wonderful loving months of my life. Granted there were a few moments where he got a bit stressed due to time constraints on his schedule with collage and work, and bills and stuff. And I guess the fact that he was beginning to have a few side effects from the stress in front of me, he got embarrassed and guess he felt like he had somehow lost control (he's big on controlling his life to the last utter detail) And he felt that it wasn't being fair to me to have me see him like that, and that he was bad for me because he has too many emotional issues and that he would eventually end up hurting me even worse than if he just called it over now. But I had already built up 7 years of loving this man! My heart was shattered! But my messed up situation is that because I moved clear across the country to be with him I don't have anywhere to go now. So I'm stuck living with him. Looking at the man that I love more than anyone or anything in this world. The man I want to MARRY, and not being able to touch him anymore, or kiss him tenderly or To feel the tender touch of his sweet caress as he holds me tight at night. Or to gaze into his mesmerisingly blue eyes and see the love in his smile as he gazes back at me.

Yet every morning, I have to see him. Talk to him. and pretend like my guts aren't churning inside with the aching NEED to hold him and tell him I love him. I have lost all desire to do ANYTHING lately. I just sit here in front of the computer trying desperately to find SOMEONE that can help take me away from all this heartache and pain. I feel like part of me is dieing every day. I just don't know what to do. I have tried posting adds on Craig's List (supposedly the best site on the net to advertise here in the states) But if that is the case then why do I only get replies from the people who just want to be my friend, but can't do anything to help me! All I need is a place to go! SHIT! does no one in Texas have room in their house for a small little construction worker chic down on her luck? Anyway....this is my rant I guess...that my life is all messed up again. oh boy! I'm getting real freakin' tired of having to continually start over. How am I supposed to get ahead in the world if every guy who says they want to be there for the long haul up and quits on me! Since I was 14 years old I have been starting over. every time I get close to getting somewhere with my life, it all goes crazy on me and I end up in situations like the one I am in now, or worse (if you can imagine). I dunno....I guess I'm just going to pour my heart out here and hope someone out there might see it and maybe see where I'm coming from maybe. Is there ANYONE out there who has had anything like this happen to them? How do you deal with the pain of it? How do you keep from getting that weight on your chest every time you see the person? How do you keep yourself from wanting to love them still? Man...Heartache SUX!

some powerful words by a pissed off woman

2008-06-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

from one 'Angry Woman'...I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some powerful words. This woman should run for president. Written by a housewife from New Jersey ...

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they? And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior! If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country!

And may I add: "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem" by Ronald Reagan.

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this. "If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Also by Ronald Reagan One last thought for the day: In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1.Jesus Christ 2. The American G. I.One died for your eternal soul, the other for your American freedom. YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, FOR THESE DAYS MANY SEEM TO FORGET THEM BOTH.

selfish people

2008-06-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

Every morning my roommate gets up and cooks these big elaborate breakfasts that fill the house with the aroma of eggs, home fries, bacon and or sausage and every morning I have to smell these stomach grumbling aromas. She will make a plate for her and my ex and totally ignore the fact that I exist. I never get any unless they are table scraps left over from what ever my ex doesn't want. This has been going on for some amount of weeks now and just last night she did the same thing with dinner. I waited to have anything to eat last night because I was told that she would be making dinner. So I ended up starving all night because I was stupid enough to believe I might actually be included in dinner. Now, if anyone in this house NEEDS to starve, it's HER! the woman is HUGE, but me...I'm only 5' and only weight like 95 lbs. soaking wet, which means if I lose any weight, I'll freaking disappear! But do you think she would care? NO! So finally last night I said something about it to my ex. His excuse for it was that she is just "Used to cooking for just me" but if that is the case, how come she cooked for me all the time when we were together? As soon as me and him break up, it's like I don't exist! I have not had anything to eat in 2 days because every time I go to the fridge after she has cooked, there is nothing left! I suppose I could drink milk all day and hope that would fill me up I suppose, or maybe get drunk with the 151 and juice that is in there till I just don't care anymore. But that is about all that is left in the danged fridge now. Yea, so today it's my selfish ass roommate that is pissing me off.

I think my ex said something to her last night because today was the first morning she didn't cook anything at all! So I'm thinking just to spite me she isn't making ANYTHING. That's fine though because there really isn't anything to cook now anyway. She already ate it all.

Craig's List Has Become a Breeding Ground for the Ignorant!

2008-06-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

ok...listen to THIS! I posted an add on craig's list the other day after my bf broke up with me telling me it would be best if I moved out. Now keep in mind this was not a bad break up. we still love each other, and we are STILL the very best of friends, so for now I am still here living with him untill I can find a place to go. However it couldn't have happened at a worse time because I recently lost my ID, Birth certificate, and S.S. card when my wallet was stollen not too long ago, so I would have to venture out into the city without any ID. I was completely honest in my add which everyone flagged because they assumed I was trying to scam them somehow. But it basically stated that I needed a place to stay for a little while till I got back on my feet. I was honest about my ID situation, my living situation, and everything and I basically poured my heart out to these people in hopes I might find a kind soul who would be willing to help. You would be appauled at the responses I recieved. If you have any young children in the room that can read, I would suggest sending them somewhere else for a few moments while you read the rest of this. I am going to post some of the comments I recieved from these ignorant jerks so you can see for yourself, just how bad it has become. everything besween the " " have been copied and pasted from the adds on CL.

now this is the first response I got..."What's the catch? You're fat, right?" this is one of the milder ones. and probably one of the least offensive.

"Don't take this wrong but for you to want someone to open up their home to you and you provide NO ID of you who you are whatsoever, sounds like you are going to rob them blind with this "boyfriend" of yours. And if you did, how convenient that there would be no way to trace who you really are. Go get an ID, then ask for help. If anyone chooses to help you I sure hope they are smart enough to take your picture and obtain a set of fingerprints as well as a DNA sample, just in case they end up dead or robbed blind for helping you. Your story may be legit however you must realize that in today's society no one is who they say they are, we have 50+ illegal Mexicans running around with fake ID's to prove it. That's 50 MILLION people here that we have no idea who they really are. What a fucked up country we now live in. " now this guy has a legitimate point, true enough, but he was so blatently rude about it doing all but out right accusing me of being a thief. (I have never stolen anything in my life btw, not even candy from a store when I was a kid. not that they know that, but they sure do love to make their assumptions as you will see)

and this next one...they make boat loads of assumptions here that have no basis on reality whatsoever! "I smell sugar daddy bait. That may have something to do with your boyfriend kicking you to the curb. I've seen the women in the construction industry MOST are bow wow's, the others are skanks. Both will fuck a duck for a dollar. You're not looking for a helping hand you are looking for a hand out and there is a VAST difference between the two. You still do not respond to the question regarding your "family" which is very disturbing. Either they are total rejects and you want to escape them for some reason OR you are the reject and they are rid of you. MEN, beware, if you take her in sleep with one eye open and lock up the wallet and valuables. Smells like a wolf in sheeps clothing. " for the record I am NO skank. I'm a respectable woman with good morals and values and I DON'T just go around fucking ANYONE. I have to truely love them before I even consider it. and as for my family, the only one left is my mother and she is a selfish cunt who wouldn't even come to the hospital when everyone told her I was dieing of spinal meningitis, and they were getting ready to read me my last rights! so FUCK HER! so yea...he was right about my family being rejects, but that was the ONLY thing he was right about.

Ok on to the next one: "for you horn dogs, this is about all you'll have left when you come home from work one day. " (it showed an animated picture of a walking skeleton for those of you wondering what "this" ment) again people accusing me of being a thief. this was starting to get infuriating by this point so I began to retaliate and defend myself. Though usually I just let the ignorant look ignorant and leave it at that. but I was getting sick of being called a thief! I AM NO THIEF!

now this next person stuck up for me, and I wrote back to him thanking him profusely for seeing through all the B.S. and getting to know me. I have since been in contact with this guy, and he is a true sweetheart. His wife is a lucky woman. "Why when someone asks for help do most people assume that they are trying to screw you over, maybe she just needed direction, maybe not. it don't take a whole lot to just talk to someone does it? What happened to help your fellow man? If I could help someone, anyone i would, even if it was just some kind words of encouragement , i dont think thats all that hard." If you ever read this rick...Thanks a bunch. you're a doll! (hugs)

now this last one was MIGHTY presumptious. they just assume that because I'm in a bad situation that I am some kind of drug addict, and it was THIS comment that got a bunch of other even nastier ones going. "It sounds like (to me) that you are hooked on something that is ruining your life and you can't yet see it. I sincerely hope you get through this point in your life... You need to make some changes and accept some help even if the help requires you to change some behaviors. If you have kids, you may have to give them up, but most importantly, you need to take steps now to change the direction in your life. " who is HE/SHE to assume that I'm some kind of nasty drug addict? I'll admit I used to smoke pot, but the key word is USED to. I haven't smoked in so long I can't remember the last time I had a joint. but even THEN that was the only thing I ever did. I barely even drink but maybe 1 or 2 drinks a month IF that.

anyway...on to the next one. this c**t was one of the worst ones. she apparently was the one who asked me if I was fat. since the only person I had sent the pics to at this point was that person. Just to prove I wasn't fat. One of the pics was the one I have here on my profile. anyway...she was particularly mean, and for no good reason. see for yourself..."Look bitch - you sent me your pictures and I won't post them. BUt please, that mug is staright" (she can't even spell straight right she must be gay) "off a TDCJ inmate poster. You LOOK like a scammer! In addition, you look rough. So how long have you been an alcoholic?" this one really pissed me off. I am NOT an alchoholic. I have MAYBE one or two drinks a MONTH, IF that. Generally just to be social. and in most cases I go up to 3 months without a single drink. however in some people's eyes anyone who drinks at ALL is an alchoholic. freakin extremists!

by this point I was getting REALLY MAD. which anyone would at this point so I posted a response to all the jerks to kiss my ass, but unfortunately that TOO got flagged and deleted. I think these guys were flagging my stuff just to be dicks personally. but anyway suffice to say I told them off, and in the process made them aware of the fact that it's not right to be making assumptions about people without at least talking to them first. and the replys I got after that were even worse.

"WOW, kiss your ass? You're ass is about one smart fucking remark from being homeless and you want to talk smack. Maybe keep your fucking mouth shut, be a little humbled, act like a lady" ok, I think even mother teressa herself wouldn't be able to keep her cool if someone were talking to her the way these people have been treating me.

this one pissed me off the most though. My whole life I have stayed away from any hard drugs. the worst I ever did was smoke a little pot once and a while, a long time ago! and this is what this guy says..."It all screams one thing to me... METH ADDICT!!! I know, I used to be one... now stop posting all of your shit here, no one is going to help you until you help yourself. good luck, lady! "

now I left craig's list for a while after recieving an e-mail from someone offering to help me out with a place to stay...my buddy rick. Anyway....when I get back I find that some chis was trying to respond to me but was too impatient to wait while I worked things out with rick to get a response from me. Instead she just assumed that my lack of immediate response was a denial of the aid she was offering. which was NOT true, but there was quite a bit of commotion about it as she complained about my not responding, but it was the response to her complaint that pissed me off here. because AGAIN they insinuate that I am some kind of hard core drug user. "The skank most likely is off giving head right now to some guy here that saw his chance to get his weed whacked for $20. Cheaper than buying flowers and taking his wife to dinner. Crack whore or not, she was NOT seeking a long term solution. Her B/F more than likely got tired of her mooching off of him, tired of buying her weed, beer, dope for her. He didn't have to feed her as most of them would give up a meal for a bump. Too bad for her. She reached out and then pulled her hand back. She has not reacher HER low yet, she just thought she did for a second and then got a fix and is good to go." and my bf had NEVER had to buy me weed OR beer and I CERTAINLY don't do dope!

and here my buddy rick (muddock) comes to my rescue. I love you rick! you're awsome! thank you! (hugs) "i have talked to her a few times,she seems cool,never asked for anything,never mentioned drugs or sex or anything except getting out of her screwed up situation shes in.everybody allways thinks someone is lying when they ask for help.she seems cool."

now this next comment pissed me off to no end. yes, I'm skinny, but I'm only 5' SHORT! and If I weighed over 100 lbs, I would look fat as hell! I'm very small framed, my whole family is small and thin, it's called genetics! just because I'm not a fat COW like the bitch that posted THIS crap, soen't mean I'm a meth head! anyway....this is what the woman wrote, " she's fucked up. looks hard, too skinny, looks too old for her age. I think the other posted was right, meth head for sure. sad." again presumptious C**T!

at this point I just got fed up. I decided to just say screw it and this is what I posted. at least THIS one didn't get flagged. " I haven't responded to anyone now because I'm sick of being harrassed just because I happen to have a problem that I need help with. it's sick. So thank you for all of you who genuinely tried to help, but through all the ass-holes on here, it's getting a bit tedious trying to pick through and find the people who really want to help. and YES...I am a bit skeptical now to respond to people even thought they seem like they are being nice. I honestly have had it. I posted the add here because one of my friends said that craig's list was the place to advertise if you want something or need something because millions of people read it. and apparently millions of ignorant people as well. I appreciate your attempts to help me, but I have some people who were actually kind enough to look past all the cruel hurtful things people have said about me and actually help me. for those people I thank you profusely. I am forever in your debt. for the rest of you (the ones bent on throwing insults) I hope you all rot in hell! because no god in their right mind would accept such filth as the likes of you. " Yes...I admit it was a bit harsh, but when you reach out for help and people just back you into a wall kicking the crap out of your character just because you are in a difficult situation it can make you a tad bit defensive.

anyway....despite my post, they continue...this one is the BEST! I mean how much more of an idiot do you need to be? I mean, you all can see my picture here beside my blog, this man couldn't possibly look any dumber! "Listen folks, you have been had. The poster, who is a male, is laughing his fat ass off right now. Pay attention to the grammar and syntax. It doesn't take a 'forensic wordoligist' to spot a phony. Trust your gut. Am I the only one that doesn't smell troll bait? "

now this guy tells me I'm a raving lunitic when someone tells me "no" funny, not one person had told me "no" so far they just put me down and treated me like s**t. but not once did I ever see the word no, and I don't recall turning into a raving unitic when my bf broke up with me. I was sad and I cried my ass off, but I didn't turn psycho. but here is his comment anyway..."Your the kind of warped psychopath who sings a pitiful song to get what she wants.But nobody must never tell you no,as you turn into a raving lunatic.I think I see the root of your problem." I think they need to get their glasses prescription rechecked because they certainly can't see S**T!

this next one was posted with the title "dallas whore needing help" and all he did was post in BIG GIANT letters, "HEY! LOST ID BITCH! FUCK OFF AND DIE!" yea, ok....very creative...NOT! what a dumb ass.

round about this time is when the jerk posted there trying to pretend to be my bf, but for what ever reason the original post was deleted, probably because he caught wind I was going to attempt to sue him for slander, but anyway...I posted a reply to him that did NOT get deleted and in it you can get an idea of the things he has said by my replies. "I just got an e-mail from one of the ladys that WAS going to be nice enough to help me with transportation to places should I need it, and now you have turned her against me with your lies! I have NO KIDS, I DO NOT DO DRUGS, and MY BF DOESN'T EVEN USE CRAIG'S LIST! infact the most my bf does is play videogames. so who ever you are, you are a fraud! and thank you VERY FUCKING MUCH FOR RUINING WHAT POSSIBILITIES I HAD FOR GETTING ANY HELP! YOU ARE TRUELY A DICK HEAD. and as the woman who was GOING to help so kindly put to me...GOD WILL GET YOU you ignorant FUCK! I hope you feel good about yourself now, sitting there pretending to be my bf so everyone will hate me. I can't even HAVE kids you fucking ASS HOLE! Ovarian CANCER made sure of that a long time ago! so FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!" if you are wondering about the kids thing he accused me of being a fat whore with 7 kids. funny...look at my pic here on my blog, I am NOT fat.

and this is the response I got from him, "You're welcome."

So I returned a post that said "Well, you obviously don't deny you were pretending to be my bf, so there is your proof right there people! The guy is a fake! so for all of you who doubted me I have nothing more to say to you. you are too easily fed by the propaganda and bullshit and NONE of you have bothered to take the time to GET TO KNOW ME before making all these insane accusations. I gave you all my IM information, you could IM me at any time to talk to me and see for yourselves that I am not a bad person. but instead you decide to make assumptions and make hurtful remarks about someone you know NOTHING about. you are nothing more than a bunch of idiots acting like immature 2nd graders!"

and he replys with, "I'll deny being your bf. I sure the hell don't want a gf with a rotted out hole." THAT was over the LINE! and nasty! at this point I was ready to just say f**k it and give up. I just couldn't get any of them to listen.

ok...this next one again, was just downright mean. I really don't think I'm all THAT bad looking. I mean, I'm no model, but I'm certainly no DOG. I'm 32 years old and I have always been told I look young for my age. I mean shit! I still get carded for smokes! anyway...here's his pathetic ass post..."You're a fucking dog! Get over your ugly self! I've seen better looking crackheadfs on the street than you. For real, Get off the fucking Internet and do something with yourself. Damn." and AGAIN with the assumption that I'm some kind of crack head! I HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THE S**T IN MY LIFE!"

Break-ups

2008-06-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well, Thanks to my roomate and her pissy fit the other day, she has sent my bf into a nervous breakdown and now he wants to break up with me. He says that he's no good for me and that he is not worth loving, that he hates himself, and that he can't deal with the fact that he can't controll everything anymore.

I tried to tell him that you can't controll everything. that you may be able to for a little while, but change is inevitable and if you are going to function you need to learn to adapt to it. He just freaked the heck out and said he was doing just fine before. But that was also before our roomate came down with diabitis. And before we had to change the types of food we had in the house. But now I'm stuck having to leave because he's all tweaked out over our roomie's little outburst the other day. He thinks that I shouldn't love him, and that he is not worthy of my love. which is SOOO wrong. I KNOW he has a wonderful heart and the only reason he is reacting this way is because he cares TOO much for people at times. I know that the things he is going through are only a temporary reaction to the changes that had occured, and once he adjusts to them he will be fine, but I'm worried it will be too late. By the time he calms down he will have made me leave, and we will no longer be together. And I will be stuck in a strange state with no friends and no where to go.

It's kind of ironic how life works...ya know...I spent the last 7 years loving him, dreaming of a time when we could be together, and when I finally get here, not 4 months after I move in he has a nervous breakdown and wants me to leave. What the HELL was I working for all this time then? He makes me feel like the last 7 years of my life have been a total waste of my time. Anyway....I guess I won't be able to write any time soon because there is no telling where I will end up. I'm nearly 1000 miles from home and have no friends here, and I have no where to go, yet...I have to find some way to leave...it's not going to be pretty, but I have faith. I will eventually land on my feet from this fall too. though this one seems like quite a drop at the moment...but I've survived worse I guess. Anyway...if anyone in the Dallas TX area happens to read this article, could you please e-mail me if you might be able to help me find a place to go, even temporarily?

worry worts

2008-05-31T09:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is the thing that has been annoying me the most lately, My bf...He worries about everyone else, and never takes time for himself. Like right now, our roommate threw an I'm pissy fit this morning, and of course she did this on a day when all I wanted was to spend some quality time with my bf as I have not had any all week. So He spends his Saturday morning tweaking out that his precious little roommate isn't here and that she's all mad, and completely ruining any chance I could have had to have a pleasant weekend with him. Ok...I know this may sound a bit selfish, but it seems every week, I spend alone here in the bedroom while he sits in the living room all day and into close to midnight with HER. Completely ignoring the fact that I even exist. So on the weekend, I want some mother f**king time with him dangit! Anyway, she finally comes home and he is in her bedroom with her right now talking to her trying to calm her PMSing. and ya know, whenever I have a problem, it just doesn't seem all that important to him. But whenever our roommate has the slightest little case of the ho hums he's right there for her. Sometimes I think she does it just for attention because she knows every time she does, he comes running right to her side. It's infuriating. It's like an infant who realizes for the first time that when he crys mommy comes running to hold it. Well, that is exactly what our roommate is doing with my bf and she is playing him like a fiddle and it is really starting to PISS ME OFF! At what point will he put his foot down and say "deal with your own freaking problems!" ? I mean...that is what he does with ME, so why not do that with HER? I mean, when I have a problem, he just doesn't seem to care all that much. Maybe it's because I come across as a bit more mentally and emotionally strong, but I still have emotions, and I still need to talk sometimes, but I guess he thinks I'm not human and I have no emotions, I dunno. Either way, it sucks! I feel like chopped liver half of the time. like I'm just not important anymore.

The "We got to talk." Line

2008-05-25T10:50:00.001-07:00

Today he said it, the line that makes everyone's heart sink to their stomach. The "we got to talk" line. however, he said it, but then just told me that he wants to talk about it later, so now I'm going to be wandering around the house all day worried about what it is he wants to "talk" about with my nerves all jittery, and my mind all cluttered with the what ifs. I can't eat, (and I'm hypoglycemic so that doesn't help) I'm a bloody freaking wreck right now and all because he said "we have to talk" and left it hanging there. It's amazing how those 4 little words can have such an effect on a person. it's making me a nervous wreck right now. Wondering what he is going to say, if it will mean the end our relationship, or what. My stomach balls all up in knots just at the THOUGHT of it being the end of our love. He means the world to me. and without him I really have nothing to live for. No one to love and love me in return. He is the closest thing I have ever had to a normal loving relationship and I don't want that to end. WHY do people "have to talk" Why can't they just leave well enough alone? God that drives me crazy!

a shout out for a good informative blog!

2008-05-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

This is NOT a rant, but rather a praise. yes folks...I'm actually not complaining this time. lol but seriously, I have just visited a friend's blog and it really is pretty informative. If you are interested in knowing good productive ways to help drive traffic to your blog, or even to a website you may be hosting, anything that requires the attention of internet goers around the world, please be sure to visit this blog at: http://www.randombatch.com and learn how to blog professionally today!

perverted idiots on chat!

2008-05-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is the WORST thing to happen to the Internet and quite possibly what gives the Internet such a bad reputation in the first place...all those STINKING PERVERTS out there who can do NOTHING but talk about SEX! There must be a million and one topic or more they could find to talk about, but every time I log onto a messenger I continually get these guys that im me (and sometimes women too!) that ask me 12 shades of nasty sexually orientated questions. Now on all of the profiles that I use regularly I have advertised that I am in a very happy relationship and have no desire to "meet" anyone or any interest in what they call "cyber sex". Yet despite this fact I still get people that come on to me like a drunkin' prom date!

THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! I mean, just because it is the Internet does not mean that everyone on it is meat and can be treated like some nasty sex crazed idiot! Not everyone's life revolves around SEX! JEEZ! I mean really! One of these days I might just post a few of these shameful conversations these people have IMed me with just to show you how bad it really can be, and why I felt the need to rant about this. If anyone reading this would like to share some of their experiences with this kind of problem, please feel free to comment here, or send in your rant and I will respond in kind. I hope in some way this will get through to at least a few of the people who exhibit this kind of behavior and take a long hard look at themselves and maybe do something to clean up their act a little!

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got a rant?

2008-05-20T06:41:00.001-07:00

Something bugging you and you feel like no one wants to listen? Feel free to E-mail me and rant away, and I'll post it here with a bit of a comment and maybe a little advice depending on if it's something that actually has a solution or not. I of course will keep the names anonymous unless you specifically request your name be used as I know sometimes these things can be rather personal. So come on people and send me your frustrations and we will see if we can't find a solution together. Just title the subject Rant. Hope to hear from you all soon, and thank you for reading Raven's Rants.

Making deals with your partner never works

2008-05-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

I made a deal with my boyfriend a while back that stated I would smoke outside and try to quit if he would stop chewing his cuticles. (yes, it's an annoying habbit he has that just grosses me out) well...I have remained true to our deal, but he has not. I saw his cuticles this morning and they look like something out of a war zone! all bloody and raw! How on earth can he do that to himself I wonder?
Yet I have continually smoked outside and I am now down to smoking only 2-3 smokes a day from smoking nearly 2 packs a day in as little time as a couple weeks. Yet he still chews his damned cuticles justifying his behavior saying "it's a habbit I've had for a long time" Like I've been smoking longer than he's even been ALIVE!
So then he says, "well...my habbit doesn't annoy anyone." naw...only untill the get a look at your fingers and suddenly get the urge to puke! It really IS unsightly. And it makes my stomache lurch every time I see that crap. It's gross!

Honestly it makes me feel like I'm the only one even trying here. because he claims he shouldn't HAVE to try. Well...he made the deal he should have to stick to it damnit! I mean...I AM! and I've nearly quit smoking as well. But his hands still look like a war zone. And the whole thing kind of buggs me a bit. I mean, quitting smoking is ALOT more difficult that just stopping a bit of a chewing problem. it's not like he's addicted to eating his own flesh. (that really IS gross when you think about it) just writing about it makes my stomache lurch. he actually chews off little pieces of flesh from his fingers and EATS IT! GROSS!

GOD! the least he can do is make an ATTEMPT to stop! but it's like he's not even trying. GRRR! Maybe I should start smoking inside again, and prove my point. What do you think? feel free to comment and tell me what YOU would do if faced with this problem.

rant of the day!

2008-05-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's my rant for the day, I finally find a site that will allow me to get paid to write these nonsensical little snippets here, and they tell me my blog is too new to earn any cash at it. go figure! I guess I'll have to wait 90 freaking days and just continue to come here and bitch every once and a while LMAO! it's all good though. Cuz it seems this is the best place to do it!

So here's my second rant since that one really doesn't count. I'm in an odd situation...I'm a hypoglycemic who lives with a diabetic roomate. Yea. I must have a death wish or something, I dunno....anyway...She only recently found out she has diabetes, yet I have had hypoglycemia now for nearly 10 years. since I was in my 20's. She tells me the other day when I was complaining about really needing some sugar to bring my levels back up, "you won't find any more of THAT crap here any more." Like she is the only one with blood sugar problems and like her health is really the only shit that matters and FUCK ME! right! WTF! That made me madder than I had been in quite some time I must admit. I pitched such a fit that my bf finally went out and got some ice cream for me. But I mean...How self centered do you have to be? I mean really! I have been doing my best to eat those diabetic dinners she always cooks though by bed time my sugar levels are so low I'm aching for carbs like there's no tomorrow, with the shakes, mood swings and insane migraines. Yet I really TRY not to rub it in her face, ya know, but what does she do? Rubs it right in mine! People can be just so damned rude sometimes and I don't think they even realize they are doing it half the time.

STUPID PEOPLE!

2008-05-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

OK....there are alot of stupid people in the world and I decided to do a search on you-tube for some of the funniest clips of the stupidest people I could find for your entertainment, and I suppose for my own as well. Anyway, hope you enjoy them.

this one is GREAT! espically the cop at the end giving the students of a classroom a "lesson" in gun safty the HARD WAY! He's real professional alright.

ok....This nexty one isn't really about stupid people per-say, but more about a person who makes his living off stupid people with the "here's your sign" routine. and he just came out with a new video called "I'm a cowboy." and I thought it would be a funny thing to share here.

and this next one is absolutely amazing! Can you believe how LITTLE american people actually remember about 9-11! this astounded me! I mean thousands died and it was plastered all over the news for nearly a YEAR or more and you STILL hear about it from time to time yet how quickly we all forget!

this next one was made by a guy named Cody. Excellent work by the way! I laughed my butt off. It's hard to imagine people are REALLY this stupid! but see for yourselves! and try not to pee your pants laughing too hard!

well....this is my collection for now. keep this link bookmarked for more funny stuff to come.

too many scams on the internet!

2008-05-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ok...so here's my first rant after setting up this new blog idea. I was cruising the internet today, looking for a job I can do from home legitimately, and kept hitting scam after scam. Now, I know lots of people who work from home and really DO make loads of cash legitimately, and I was basically looking for something similar. I am a writer/ video game freak and thought I could put some of that to some good use, however after searching all over the web for a legitimate writing job and/or a video game testing career, I turned up empty handed. It seems EVERY site on the net wants you to PAY THEM to get the job! Now correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you need a job before you can PAY ANYONE! Besides I have always been told if someone wants you to give them money to hire you, it's not a legitimate job and they are just a middle man. And I firmly believe that, however...it seems everyone on the internet is a middleman scam artist. if there is ANYONE out there looking for a writer/poet/short story/novelist, or a very experienced video game tester who ISN'T trying to sell anything, please feel free to e-mail me and let me know. Although I'm not holding my breath.

Anyway, this leads me to the excessive inundation of the internet with these exact kinds of adds for supposed employment. I will admit falling for one of these scams a while back. I paid nearly 50 bucks to join a site that claims to provide loads of game testing employment opportunities. I paid the 50 bucks to "join their site" and after I paid I tried to log in and it said I hadn't paid for my submission despite the obvious withdrawal from my account. the danged thing wouldn't even let me log in. So I called the site manager and complained. to which he said that fee was a review fee. basically a fee in which they charge you to "review your application" (something not stated in the initial advertisement to join the site) to which he stated I had been denied....now, why would a legitimate employer of a video game testers not hire someone who has been playing video games faithfully since the original Atari consoles? why would they not hire someone who's first computer was a Commodore 64? Someone who has practically lived and breathed video games since they were first released to the general public? Because they make a living out of getting people to pay their "review fee" and then just turning around and denying them and keeping the fee money. and HA HA the laugh is on the poor helpless sap who fell for it. Namely me at the time and god knows how many countless others they duped with this little scam! WHEN WILL ALL THE SCAMS STOP! Can't people just be honest with each other instead of trying to rip everyone off? Grrrrr!